A Friendly Note To Grown Women Who Wear Backpacks

Recently, a story popped up on my Facebook newsfeed about how it’s perfectly okay for adult women to wear backpacks. FALSE. I don’t know who’s spewing this filth into the world, but you most definitely should not listen. If you have graduated from college, put the damn backpack down. It doesn’t matter if it was expensive, or if it’s leather, or if it has studs on it, you’re not Dora the Fucking Explorer.

If you’re over the age of 22, there are only a few plausible reasons that you should be wearing a backpack:

1. If you’re hiking/climbing a mountain

2. If you’re backpacking through Europe

3. If you’re camping (ew)

If you paid really close attention, you might have realized that ALL three of those reasons involve the outdoors! If you have questions about when else it’s appropriate, use your fucking brain. If you’re enjoying the great outdoors, you might be allowed to wear a backpack. If you’re not outside, carry a fucking purse like an adult. That’s all.

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