A Defense and Goodbye to Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin just released a not-short article saying goodbye to public life and explaining the saga he's been through with the media and why he just can't take it anymore. He is retiring from public life and possibly leaving New York and unlike many people, we're extremely upset about this.

Personally, I would trade reading a stupid story on TMZ about how Alec Baldwin went to yoga with his wife and then got a pedicure and coffee at Grey Dog so that he could have privacy and attempt to live as a normal person. I literally gain no enjoyment from reading half the shit on TMZ whereas I gain a lot of enjoyment from watching Alec Baldwin act in movies and host SNL. But that's just me being selfish. 

People might say, “But they're celebrities! They knew what they were getting into!” That may be true for some celebrities, but it's not for Alec Baldwin who became famous before Twitter and Perez Hilton, in a time before it was okay to treat people like zoo animals simply because they are successful at their jobs, and their jobs happen to involve appearing on TV or in movies or like, a really popular instagram account. It makes zero sense that a consequence for being talented at your job, even if it is a public one, is that you lose any semblance of a private life and that people reserve the right to make a national conversation out of a skirmish you had on an airplane. Celebrities are not politicians, they don't (pretend to) make moral decisions that affect our lives, so what gives us the right to know anything more about them than we would any other person. You don't hear people saying that it's okay for really talented doctors or businesspeople or anyone who's successful in their field to forfeit their privacy. So why is this one of the rewards of being a talented actor?

Just because you are personally more curious about their private lives than you are about say, Warren Buffett's, doesn't mean you have the right to this information under the guise of “freedom of the press.” Especially when it involves verbally and physically harrassing celebrities and their non-famous family members and children who didn't choose to be born, just to get photos to make money from. I really don't think that following Miley Cyrus while she walks her dog is the kind of “freedom of the press” that George Washington had in mind. I'm not exactly a constitutional scholar but something tells me it had more to do with things in the realm of Edward Snowden and other larger national interests, not the specific drugs Justin Bieber is on today.

Side Note: Some of you may say it's hypocritical that we ourselves talk shit and judge celebrities and make money from doing so. The latter is true and we completely acknowledge being part of the problem, but it's not like if we were to suddenly stop writing that anything would change. We personally will never have any interest in creating our own news by means of stalking celebrities. However we do have an interest in entertaining you with our commentary on the media and how fucked up it is. Confession: We don't actually want to write about how much we dislike Anne Hathaway, but because the rest of the media puts it in front of us and our audience enjoys it and this is our job, we do it.

“Now I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible. I used to engage with the media knowing that some of it would be adversarial, but now it’s superfluous at best and toxic at its worst. If MSNBC went off the air tomorrow, what difference would it make? If the Huffington Post went out of business tomorrow, what difference would it make? Arianna Huffington accomplished what she wanted to accomplish. She created this wonderful thing. And what have they done with that? They want clicks, I get it. They’ve gotta have clicks for their advertisers, so they’re going to need as much Kim Kardashian and wardrobe malfunctions as possible.”

This could not be more true and it's probably the biggest reason that people are so stupid and unable to think for themselves. The reason we love Kim Kardashian and buy into Alec Baldwin hatred is because the media blows these people up so they can make moneyyyy. It's all about the money. Sure TMZ could write about all the great things Alec Baldwin does through his foundations or the time he gave a dollar to a homeless person but that probably wouldn't attract as many readers. We're willing to be completely honest with you and say that websites only write about scandalous shit and the Kardashians because that's what makes the most money.

“In the New Media culture, anything good you do is tossed in a pit, and you are measured by who you are on your worst day. What’s the Boy Scout code? Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. I might be all of those things, at certain moments. But people suspect that whatever good you do, you are faking. You’rethat guy. You’re that guy that says this.”

He totally might be all of those things and none of us would know because we don't ACTUALLY know him. Yet every commenter on the internet wants to think they can analyze and label because we see certain slivers of his life. Think of how well your acquaintances know you and what they must think about you that is just totally not true and/or negative. If they know you personally and are judging you wrong, you're DEFINITELY judging these random famous people wrong.

This is especially apparent with the number of people who are calling Alec Baldwin a homophobe because he questionably called a photographer a “cocksucking faggot.” Let's be realistic, do you actually think Alec Baldwin is a homophobe? He's like the most outspoken liberal celebrity out there and works with gay people all the time. Sure he maybe used the words (which we're not 100% sure of), but anyone who wants to claim that they don't occasionally use words they're not proud of in moments of anger is probably lying and/or in denial. But we all need someone to villify, so why not pick the guy with anger problems that'll keep on giving. 

“Even the U.S., which is so preposterously judgmental now. The heart, the arteries of the country are now clogged with hate. The fuel of American political life is hatred.”

Because hate = money. Fucking duh. But isn't anyone else getting a little tired of all the hate? I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. But until then here are some pics of Anne Hathaway eating ice cream stupidly…just kidding. 


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