ADVERTISEMENT

Tequila Lollipops: For Getting Shadily Drunk On The Go

Maybe I’m just more of a functioning alcoholic than I used to be, but it seems like boozy versions of kid-friendly treats have fucking exploded in the past few years. Milkshakes, popsicles, gummy bears (okay, that’s been around a while but still)… The list never fucking ends. Well now thanks to Cosmopolitan, we can add tequila lollipops to the roster. So a portable candy margarita? Sign me right tf up.

Unfortunately, these aren’t for sale yet so you’ll have to make them yourself. You just make normal lollipops which, if you’re like me and not fucking Willy Wonka, have no clue what that means. It’s actually not that hard though. We’ll walk you through it. 

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1/2 cup corn syrup
  • 3 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup tequila — or more if you’re feeling brave/had a bad day at work or some shit
  • Food coloring —technically optional but like, it looks pretty
  • Lollipop sticks

Stir together the water, corn syrup, and sugar in a saucepan. Then stop stirring and let that shit do its own thang and come to a boil. Add in your Bacardi 151 tequila and stir fast (imagine you’re flicking your wrists in a rap video or something, IDK). Take your saucepan off the head and spoon the liquid onto a silicone baking mat so it doesn’t stick. Yah surprise—you need a silicone mat. Whoops. If you already started this recipe and don’t have one because you’re not Ina Garten, you can use parchment paper instead and probably get away with it.
 

Take a lollipop stick and dip it into a lil bit of food coloring, then swirl it around in the candy. Leave that shit alone and let it cool. And you did it!

These lollipops are perfect for pregames or pool parties or, ya know, a shitty day at work when the coffee isn’t cutting it. I mean, it’s not like my boss will know. He’ll probs think I’m just enjoying a casual midday lollipop and not a candy tequila shot at my desk. Nothing to see here, Nick. God, I’m fucking brilliant.