How To: Dress For A Music Festival

Music festivals are always a special occasion for betches. Other than the opportunity to rage to our favorite house music in an extremely sceney environment where people will see us and think we’re cool, the vibe at a music festival is always more “chill” than when we usually go out and rage. Since lots of these events are during the day, it should be obvious that it calls for a slightly different dress code.


crazy manToo much?


“Effortless” neon: The essence of the house music wardrobe is obviously some variation of a neon crop top coupled with jean shorts or leggings and sneakers. If you think it’s acceptable to be seen in your gym sneakers you should go hide in the bathroom until you run out of shit to do in there. Just because a music festival is the only time it’s okay to wear “alternative” clothing and not #42 dress like a slut doesn’t give you an excuse to look like a fucking hobo. Throw on a pair of Keds or your brightest one-of-a-kind pair of Nikes and you're good to go.

Big, trendy sunglasses: We can’t overstate the value and necessity of sunglasses. Just find the biggest fucking pair you can.

Hairpiece: A hairpiece can go either way. It’s a risky move but a true betch can pull off anything. The more #1 shit people are talking about your hairpiece, the betchier you are. Or you could look like a fucking tool. Hard to say without stalking your outfit on Facebook.

Handbag with secret compartments: No one wants to bother with a handbag while they’re raging to Angello, so lots of betches choose to go with the more low key bag for these events or wear no bag at all. This is the only time a fanny pack might be acceptable to carry, but only if it has your sorority’s letters on it (or is neon) so it’s clear that you didn’t buy it on your own and that you didn’t find it in a “vintage store” your grandma’s closet. Anyway, our main point is that whatever bag you bring should have secret compartments to hide your drugs because security is usually strict at these events.

So, make sure to dress appropriately for the next concert or music festival that you attend. And by appropriate we mean look like a chic drug addict from the 80s. This way people will def know you're a betch.



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