Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

Okay, here's the dilemma, which shouldn't even be a dilemma. I feel like this is such an easy fix somehow but I just CANT THINK of it. There's this hot bro, we'll call him bro #1. Anyway, he asked me out on a date when we both get back to our college town since he's in Switzerland and I'm stuck in America. I said yes because he's hot and he gave me a good mind fuck the past week.

Not even 10 minutes later another hot bro (#2) asked me out as well. I didn't answer back because I have no idea what to say since bro #1 & #2 are good friends on the same college team.

Oh & I kinda hooked up with their other teammate (bro #3) last week; not all the way though. I don't fuck bros.

So my question is, how do I manage all this without turning into the team slut?


I Don't Even Fucking Know.

Dear I Don't Even Fucking Know,

There's nothing that will make a guy more into you than the feeling that there are other guys who are also really into you. People generally want shit that other people also want so this is in all ways, a good thing.

You should always have at least two bros on the back burner in case you're bored or want someone to buy you dinner so feel free to date all three of these guys. Do not however, have sex with more than one of them, or any of them for that matter, for as long as you can avoid it. That makes you the team slut.

However, allowing various guys to buy you shit and take you on dates is encouraged. Hopefully their knowledge of the other bros' pursuits will make all of them step up their game. As a betch, your only job is to remain carefree and have fun.  The one who deserves and wants you the most will show it and if he doesn't he'll find out soon enough that there are plenty of other guys waiting to take his spot.


The Betches


Dear Betch,

First let me say I live for your amazing blog. As a betch myself I can normally handle things, but I am coming to the queen betches for some much needed advice. Plain and simple I fell for my trainer (pretty hard) and he did too, and in true betch fashion I scored months of free sessions.

Our weekly sometimes twice a week sessions of cardio and weights that left me sweaty and better looking were filled with long talks (leaving out any hint to him having a girlfriend) that turned to a very close friendship. We crossed the line over a night of sexting when we both confessed our feeling for each other. While it was everything I wanted to hear, I also feared the fact of anything happening and our relationship changing.

While we proceeded to have an total emotional relationship nothing more physical than squats and deep stretching happened between us, other than a few hugs (which were the best ever I know.. cheesy). I have since moved states away and receive “I miss youtexts on a regular basis, but I can’t stop thinking about the “what if”.

Please set me straight and back on my merry single non-hung up on a boy way.


The “What If’ Betch

Dear “What If” Betch,

This guy was never that into you. Let's explore just how we know that. You clearly gave him MANY signs that you were into it, from flirting to sexting to “deep hugs?” to an ACTUAL confession of feelings (ew). Anyway, like we've said, guys are simple. If he wanted to hook up with you, he would've tried it by now. But he hasn't, so he clearly doesn't.

Maybe he's bored so he's texting you that he misses you. Maybe he's seeing someone else or has a girlfriend but bottom line, if this guy wanted to fuck you and granted he's not a complete losery wimp, something would have happened by now. So it's time to move on and stop being a #70 delusional dater.

Find a guy who's less concerned with deep stretching and more concerned with deep thrusting.


The Betches


<< Previous Dear Betch...

Next Dear Betch… >>


More amazing sh*t

Best from Shop Betches