Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

My older brother is a pro who is dating the seriously wrong betch. He's too naive to see through her psycho two-faced personality. Not only is she a real “betch” but she's lame and brings him down. How do I betch her out without losing the respect of my brother? Thanks!

Protective Sister Betch

Dear Protective Sister Betch,

If you tell your brother you don’t like his girlfriend, all he’ll do is resent you and it will probably make him like her even more. The most manipulative way to go about this is to pretend you really like her and be overly nice to her. Then, when he’s around get someone else to casually mention something that’s really annoying that people do, that she obviously also does. For example, you could get your friend to say, “I hate it when girls wear bright eye shadow during the day. It’s so trashy.” This way you’re not directly insulting her but your brother will feel insecure about his choice of girlfriend. Being passive aggressive and allowing it to look like she’s attacking you is also a great way to appear to be the victim of a very mean girl.

Finally, if none of the above works, move on. Why do you care so much? Are you trying to fuck your brother or something? Who gives a shit who he dates? Go get your own love life.

Sincerely, The Betches



Dear Betch,

I'm a classic betch and always have been. So after finding this site it has become my bible, nothing makes me feel better than reading a little betch.

So after almost a whole semester at college I finally met a bro I was into. We went on a date that was super cute and he ended up coming back to my room. We hooked up after watching a movie and it was totally awesome. He even texted me the next day saying what a great time he had and that he wanted to see me again. So we made informal plans for the next weekend. In the middle of the week he just stopped talking to me. The day we were supposed to hang out he texted me saying that he just didn't want anything serious.

I mean what? We only hooked up once and he initiated seeing each other again. We haven't spoken since and I know I should forget about him because he's being a jerk but for some reason I can't drop it. Should I try to talk to him or how should I handle this?

Sincerely, I want more

Dear I Want More,

If by ‘hooked up’ you mean you had sex with this bro, the answer to why he’s over you is clear. Clearly you suck at #8 not fucking bros. As we mention countless times, if you have sex with a guy right away, he’ll think that you have sex with every guy right away and therefore he’s not special and you’re kind of a slut. Of course he texted you saying he had a great time. But what he really meant is ‘I’m glad you put out. That was easy.”

If you didn’t have sex with him and just hooked up with him, you were probably being pretty clingy and annoying or showed that you were too into him. It’s important to keep the mystery alive. Initially, a guy should always be unsure about whether or not you’re into him and think that he can be easily replaced. Keep this in mind for the next bro, this one is a lost cause. Definitely do not try and talk to him. Get over it.

Sincerely, The Betches


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