The One Where Every Country Was Mad At Us

So Many International Conflicts, So Little Time Originally published in the Betches Sup Newsletter 4/9/18 Three beautiful anti-democratic regimes stand before me, but only one can be America’s next military entanglement. Let’s meet our final three models oppressive governments, shall we? The obvious frontrunner of this season is Syria, who has been smizing their way … Continued

The One Where The White House Lost Hope

The White House Is Hopeless Originally published 3/1/18 in the Betches Sup newsletter Just when you thought the week was basically over and it was time to start focusing on your weekend blackout, the news pops off and suddenly you have to “read” and “pay attention” and shit. Ugh. The only hot person in the … Continued

The One Where Stephen Miller Napped

  Stephen Miller Is Sleepy AF Originally published in the Betches Sup Newsletter on 2/27/18 The White House held an hour long meeting on school safety yesterday and senior adviser Stephen Miller was caught sleeping through most of it. IDK what’s more offensive here, the fact that a senior White House staff member doesn’t find … Continued

The One Where Everyone Was A Sexual Harasser

Could There *Be* More Sexual Harassers? Originally published in The Betches Sup Newsletter on 11/10/2017   Another day, another series of nauseating sexual abuse allegations against powerful men that make you think, “Hmm…should we just go ahead and cancel men? There’s an island made of trash in the Pacific that we could send them to and … Continued

The One Where Paul Manafort Got Indicted

October 30, 2017    THE RUSSIA THING OMFG Bob Mueller Finally Indicted Paul Manafort  Today is officially liberal Christmas, aka the first official legal action in Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Trump and Russia. Last night, we all left out cookies and documents for Indictment Claus, and today he delivered the ultimate gift: indictments … Continued