Men. That baffling creature you love to hate. Dear women, ever wish there was a magical pair of headphones you could put into our ears to read our minds? Well, if I’d invented those, I’d be sipping Champagne on a bedazzled yacht in Croatia with Seth Rogen and seven identical Kylie Jenner clones deciding who gets to use the jet ski first (don’t you dare fantasy shame me). But I’m going to do the next best thing, which is answer some of your most pressing questions about my species. This time, I’m attempting to answer the age-old question of what’s a guy’s biggest turn-on?
To tackle this, I decided to hop on social media and invade my friends’ privacy (you know, the whole point of social media). Once I weeded out the degenerates, sociopaths, and the unemployed, I was left with a handful of thoughtful gentlemen, and I asked them a simple question: what is your biggest turn-on and why? After reassuring them that this wouldn’t used for blackmail or my own personal collection of erotica, here’s what they said. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but I left in their ages and professions for your personal judging pleasure.
“I love when a woman has the confidence to let me know exactly what she wants. It keeps me from overthinking and messing things up if she makes sure I know exactly what she’s looking for.” –Age 28, Teacher
“I think one thing that’s attractive is when a woman has her own life (interests, friends, etc.) Co-dependence is exhausting and suffocating.” –Age 30, Administrator
“The biggest turn-on to me has always been when a woman openly flirts back. I love the dance of ‘we both want each other, we both know it’ and all the build up that comes with that. I LOVE when a girl is a great flirt. Nothing more sexy in the world than a lady who goes on the attack. I guess that’s why I never understood trying to talk a girl into sex or lurking until she gives in. Women know if you’re interested. If she’s not with it from the jump, then she’s not going to be all that fun in bed or at flirting. She’s just going to be ‘there.’ So at best that’s boring and at worst it’s super creepy. tl;dr: I love girls who flirt back and are good at it.” –Age 32, Comedian
“I’m a meat head and I go ape for nice tits, ass, and smile like the rest of us… but the thing that gets me more than anything is when I girl asks me about myself and has actual interest in who I am. Haha that may sound corny but I’ve went out with some hotties that just talk about themselves allllll night, but when I meet a girl who takes a second to ask what I like an am interested in, I dig that fo sho.” –Age 27, Fight Commentator
“My biggest turn-on is a girl that is comfortable in her own skin. Sometimes I get pretty bad anxiety so I love being around someone that gives off a receptive/positive vibe. It helps me get out of my own head and live in the moment.” –Age 26, Office Manager
“I like a girl that’s charming and self-sufficient and a little mean. The type of lady that used to smoke cigarettes, but doesn’t anymore.” –Age 28, Bartender
“My biggest turn-on is confidence. If a girl is confident and knows what she wants either in the bedroom or the relationship in general I’m instantly attracted to that person.” –Age 40, Comedian
“Immediately my thought is that a sense of humor is probably the best thing. But like…. it also helps if she’s hot. This kind of question should really only be directed towards women. Seems like every guy answer would have to end with ‘… as long as she’s hot.’ Please tell me these answers are anonymous.” –Age 29, Writer
Images: Tyler Nix / Unsplash