Any betch knows that while Mean Girls is our soul, Clueless is our bible. Cher is the ultimate betch for many reasons. Her wardrobe was on point—her commitment to dressing like a slut in high school and nearly giving her dad an aneurysm was admirable. Her friend group ruled Beverly Hills high school and set the standard for our future friend circles. She was also deeply committed to philanthropy: she tried to donate her skis to the Pismo Beach disaster relief efforts, she set up Mr. Hall and Miss Geist and helped all their students get higher grades, and she gave Tai a much-needed makeover. But probably the best thing about Cher and everyone in Clueless in general was her lexicon. Clueless may not have invented the phrase “as if,” but it might as well have. The same goes for “Oops, my bad.” Now that I think about it, there is no shortage of amazing, now-famous lines from this masterpiece that many of us still use today. If you want to expand your Clueless vocabulary beyond “That was way harsh, Tai” but aren’t sure how to incorporate these quotes into your modern vocabulary, we present a guide to the best Clueless quotes to use in everyday life here.
1. “Is that in the Valley?”
When you’re discussing plans for the night with your friends but are feeling lazy and don’t want to take part in an event that would be farther than a ten block radius from your apartment. Fuck that.
Used in a sentence: Friend: What are your thoughts on going to that bar we’ve been to in Brooklyn? Me: Is that in the Valley?
2. “She’s a full-on Monet”
To describe any girl that your crush, or your friend’s crush, is currently dating. I’m sure she sucks.
Used in a sentence: Don’t worry, he’ll dump her soon enough. It’s only a matter of time before he turns the lights on and realizes she’s a full-on Monet.
3. “I thought they declared peace in the Middle East?”
Any time someone brings up politics at a party.
Used in a sentence: Rando at party: Will you be attending any of the 5,000 protests going on tomorrow? Me: I thought they declared peace in the Middle East?
4. “Hymenally challenged”
To refer to you or your friend going through a dry spell.
Used in a sentence: (at Sunday brunch) I cannot personally add to this conversation of “who I did last night” because I am currently hymeneally challenged.
5. “I was surfing the crimson wave”
To justify something bitchy you did or said (while on your period, or not. Who cares.)
Used in a sentence: I’m sorry I spilled a drink on you and then got mad at you for being mad at me. I was surfing the crimson wave.”
(Adding “I had to haul ass to the ladies” is optional)
6. “Most capable looking outfit”
To describe the perfect outfit you need for a job interview, a hot date, the gym…
Used in a sentence: I need to wear my most capable looking outfit tonight so this guy understands that while I may have introduced myself by making out with him, I am a very serious woman with standards.
7. “No shit. You guys got coke here?”
When you walk into a pregame where you barely know anyone and need to break the ice. You’ll probably have to already be drunk enough to say this.
Used in a sentence: That’s literally how you’re gonna say it.
(Bonus points if someone responds “Yeah, this is America”. Now you’re making friends!)
8. “You know I don’t speak Mexican!”
When you pretend not to know what the other person is saying/talking about because it’s just not the kind of shit you want to hear at the time.
Used in a sentence: Friend: How many shots did you just take? I think you need to stop and maybe have some water. Me: Sara, you know I don’t speak Mexican!