7 Texts You Shouldn't Be Afraid To Send

It’s 2021, and you’d think as a society we would be over all the texting games (waiting a certain amount of time before texting back, not double texting, etc.), but these so-called strategies still pervade dating culture. As the author of a book literally called Just Send The Text, I’m a big proponent of… you guessed it… sending the text. In the book, “text” is used more as a metaphor for whatever you feel like doing. But there are seven literal texts you absolutely should be sending no matter what:

1. The Shot Shoot

In other words, the initial text you send to shoot your shot with the person you’re into. It can be anything from a bold “hey I like you” to a more subtle “hey what are you up to this weekend?” Even just a “hey” will do, depending on where you’re at with this person. The point of this text is to stop wasting your time living in the what-if. Shoot your shot. See what happens. You owe it to yourself.

2. The How Dare You

You really, really, really pissed with them about something? Maybe they stood you up. Maybe they took 72 hours to respond to your last text. Maybe you saw on Venmo that they paid their ex for “this weekend.” Whatever the case, if you feel like telling them off, tell them off. Just remember as you do so that this text is more for you than it is for them. It’s a little reminder to yourself of what you’re absolutely not willing to put up with. If they’re into you, they’ll figure out a way to work things out. If not, you can move on knowing they showed their true colors.

3. The Check-In

Not sure if you guys are still on for tonight? Spare yourself the internal “do I even bother getting ready and looking like a dressed-up idiot alone in my apartment if they bail” debate and… just ask them if you’re still on for tonight. You deserve to know what your plans are. Period.

4. The Invite

I don’t care what this invite is. Maybe you really want them to come to your best friend’s ~socially distant~ birthday at the park next weekend. Maybe you want them to come over to binge Bling Empire on the couch with you. Maybe you want them to come with you to come to try that new restaurant down the block. Whatever the case, if you want them to be doing something with you, ask them. If they can come, great. You got your wish. If they can’t, you get to go on with your plans free from wondering how much better they could have been if only you had asked them to tag along.

5. The Inside Joke

See something that reminds you of that hilarious thing you guys were talking about on your date? First of all, thank whatever God you believe in because a natural conversation segue has just fallen into your lap. Don’t let the gift go to waste in the name of playing it cool. (Besides, was it even really that cool of you to have seen something that reminded you of them, but kept it to yourself because you think that will somehow make them like you more??) 

6. The Pulse Check

Kind of feeling like things have been off between you guys recently? Instead of sending screenshots of every interaction you’ve had over the past however many weeks/months/years to your best friends for forensics, why don’t you try asking them what’s going on? This does not need to be a big, dramatic thing. A simple “hey everything good with you?” will do. Maybe they’ve been busy with work! Maybe their mom is sick! Maybe their ex just got back into town and is wreaking havoc on their life! Maybe they’re… just not that into you (sorry). Whatever the case, they are the only ones who can tell you what’s going through their head.

7. The Feeling Bomb

Let me start by saying this is not just your casual, run-of-the-mill text. This is one you send because you quite literally feel like you might burst if you don’t say something. Maybe you miss your ex and it’s consuming all of your thoughts. Maybe you think you’re starting to fall in love (or strong like) with the person you’re casually seeing. Maybe you’re starting to get super over the person you’re seeing. Whatever the case, your feelings have become so big that they no longer can exist solely inside of you. They need air. You will know when you’ve hit this point. Trust me. And when you’ve hit it, SAY SOMETHING. Bursting is never the right option.

Images: Tim Mossholder / Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Candice Jalili
Candice Jalili
Candice Jalili is a dating expert and the author of Just Send The Text. Buy her book if you're in need of a reminder that the ~right~ person will like you exactly as you are.