Unless you want to spend your life as a greasy, acne-ridden monster, skin care is an essential evil for all of us. Skin care takes a fuck ton of time and is expensive AF, but there are cheap skin care products that get the job done quick and make your skin look flawless, so you don’t have to waste even more money buying concealer. Blessings. The best part is you might already be using some of these products for other areas of your body and/or you might have this shit lying around your apartment to begin with. Anyway, these cheap skin care products just might save your life.
1. Coconut Oil
365 Everyday Value Organic Coconut Oil
I normally really hate anything that hipsters love, avocado toast and anything gluten-free included. But sometimes the hipsters are fucking right: the cure for absolutely everything is coconut oil. You can use it as a hair mask, to flatten flyaway hairs, you can eat it, it’s healthier than EVOO for cooking, and it’s the best multi-use yet cheap skin care product. Use it to take your makeup off, moisturize your skin in or after the shower, put a little into your bath and use it as shaving cream. But if you put this on your face, remember to wash it off—especially if you’re acne-prone. I don’t want any comments complaining that you left oil on your face and broke out. I am not responsible for that kind of stupidity.
2. Micellar Water
Garnier SkinActive Micellar Cleansing Water
Picture it: you’re getting home at 3am. You’re drunk and tired AF. You had four vodka sodas. Okay, seven. No more than nine for sure. You need to get your ass to bed before you start spinning. There is no fucking way you’re taking your makeup off. EXCEPT THEN you remember you have micellar water which is the best thing ever, because it gets your makeup off super easily (even waterproof makeup), tones your skin, and moisturizes it. Just pour it on a washcloth and wipe your face down and you’re good to go. Don’t sleep in your makeup. It’s fucking gross and gives you wrinkles. Just promise, okay?
3. Exfoliating Gloves
Aquasentials Exfoliating Bath Gloves
Finding these gloves is one of my PROUDEST accomplishments. Put any soap or body wash on them and scrub your skin. They will make you feel like a flawless and silky baby. Plus, exfoliating before shaving reduces your risk of razor burn or ingrown hairs. These gloves work better than any expensive scrub and are reusable until they literally fall apart. And they’re basically the definition of cheap skin care shit.
4. Acne Absorbers
These things are the BEST. I bought more while looking for an image for this article because that is how much I love them. You put one of these patches on any pimple for 8 hours. The patch absorbs everything in the pimple without breaking the skin. Plus, having it covered keeps you from picking it, if you’re revolting and into that sort of thing. They are also so fucking gross, because you can see everything that came out of your pores, and it’s really satisfying. They make any zit totally flat so it’s easier to conceal. You get 36 in this set, and it doesn’t dry out or otherwise fuck up your skin. It’s cheaper skin care than any acne cream out there.
5. Epsom Salt
This is like a grandma kind of cure-all but, like the hipsters, Grandma sometimes knows what’s up. Epsom salt can be used for exfoliating, reducing pain, rashes, and redness, decreasing inflammation of any kind, and curing acne (especially if you’re prone to backne or assne—yes I’m sorry but it is a thing for some people). You can use it in the shower or bath, or if you want a really rough scrub, use it dry before you get into the shower. Put it in the bath for your very own spa-quality salt bath.
6. Cortisone Cream
Cortizone-10 Max Strength Cortizone-10 Cream
Cortisone can be used for any itching, swelling, or redness. It’s normally used for bug bites and rashes. If you have a giant pimple or cyst, a dermatologist might inject it with cortisone and it’ll usually go down within 24 hours. The shot is like $60 every fucking time, though, and the cortizone cream you can get at the drugstore is basically the same thing (except it’s not as strong, duh). Just put it on your pimple and within a day or two, it’ll be gone. You can also use it to heal ingrown hairs or anything else swollen, like bags under your eyes.
7. Alum Spice
This is actually an old-school barbershop secret, and I’m furious that it took me so long in life to discover it. Alum is a spice. You can find it in the spice aisle of your grocery store. It’s used for like, making pickles, or something. Or you can buy it in a block from a shaving specialty store, where they will charge you like, $10 more. Alum constricts blood vessels, so it’s used to stop bleeding, like if the barber hacks half your face off. Does that happen? It seems like it would happen. I saw Sweeney Todd.
You can use it for any cut, redness, swelling, or soreness. So like, if you cut the shit out of your knee shaving again and it won’t stop bleeding and you’re already late Af and were planning on wearing a white dress, don’t panic. Just use some alum and water to make a paste, put it on, cry like a bitch because it hurts like a motherfucker, and wipe it off a couple minutes later. It instantly stops the bleeding and will make it less red. It also works if you popped a pimple and it’s oozing and bleeding and you need to put concealer on it NOW. It will close it and take the redness out. It works so well, you may not even need the concealer. You can also put it on canker sores, ingrown hairs or nails, etc. Just don’t swallow it, it is a *bit* toxic.
Images: Amazon (7)
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