50 Cent Is Literally The Luckiest Man Alive

Ya boi 50 Cent is back on top in the most miraculous way possible. In what has to be the most inspiring rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches story since Cinderella lost everything in the divorce (only to win everything back in Appeals), 50 Cent has been pulled out of bankruptcy after he realized he actually low-key had a stash of 700 Bitcoin just chilling in the Bitbank (or wherever Bitcoins are kept). And for those of you who have not hopped on the cryptocurrency train, 700 Bitcoin is equal to anywhere between $7 and $8.5 million today.

So how tf did this happen? The story is kind of amazing. Basically, in 2014 50 released his album Animal Ambition and became the first artist to accept Bitcoin as payment. He received more than 700 Bitcoins at that time, which were worth about $662 dollars then, but have skyrocketed in prince since the whole Bitcoin craze hit.

Casual reminder that in 2016, 50 Cent literally declared bankruptcy due to “reckless spending” aka “too many bottles full of bub.” Second casual reminder that 50 Cent was shot 9 times and survived. Does 50 Cent have a guardian angel of some kind? He’s some sort of supernatural good luck machine? Did he drink that good luck potion from Harry Potter or some shit? These are questions I have.

50 has been appropriately hilarious about all of this (as only someone who declared bankruptcy and then accidentally made $8 million can). He told reporters on his decision to accept Bitcoin, “I’ma keep it real. I forgot I did that shit.”

Amazing. Now, if you’ll all join me in singing:

Go 50
It’s ya birthday
We gonna party like it’s ya birthday
We gonna sip Bacardi like it’s ya birthday
Because you just accidentally made $8 million in Bitcoin!

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