By now, you may have heard of all the natural remedies for random shit floating around out there. Use coconut oil for your body odor! Use baking soda for your shampoo! Try Listerine to clean literally everything! Because you aren’t a hippie, there really is no need for these peasant remedies, but one has gotten our attention by way of actually fucking working: apple cider vinegar.
We know what you’re thinking, “ew, I don’t want to smell like a salad.” But what if smelling like a salad could help you with your disgusting zits, your split ends, your dog’s ability to fuck up all your shoes … ? Read on for more non-cooking-related uses for apple cider vinegar.
1. Your Skin
It may surprise you to know that a little apple cider vinegar in your facial routine could seriously improve your life. We tried it as a toner and it made a difference after one goddamn day. Because of the lactic and malic acids in the vinegar, your skin will be softer, more exfoliated, and more balanced. Mix about 2 tbsps of vinegar with one cup of water and apply to skin with a clean cotton ball no more than twice per week. But first, test out a small area to make sure it doesn’t make things worse. If you have sensitive skin, we definitely don’t recommend this route.
2. Your Metabolism
Do you have a carb problem? Good news: Apple cider vinegar can help crush your bad habit. The enzymes in your stomach can’t completely digest starch in the presence of acetic acid, which is in apple cider vinegar. When you can’t digest the starch, you can’t add the calories to your waistline. Additionally, the acetic acid can help suppress your appetite and reduce water retention. We don’t have a ton of scientific data for the claims (there have been studies and there HAS been some proof that all these things are true), but don’t expect to drop 20 pounds just by adding vinegar to your diet. At most, it’ll help you keep off an extra pound or two while you continue to diet and exercise.
3. Your Feet
Yes, it will help if you insisted on wearing those heels that totally don’t breathe. The ones where, as soon as you take them off, it smells like a small, furry animal may have died under the floor. Grab a washcloth or paper towel, dip it in diluted apple cider vinegar (generally you want one cup of water for every 2 tbsps apple cider vinegar) and rub those foul beasts down.
4. Your Hair
Have a dandruff problem? That’s gross, but we understand. Apple cider vinegar can help. Mix equal parts apple cider vinegar and water in a spray bottle and spray on your scalp about twice per week. Place a towel on your head and leave for about an hour, then wash your hair normally. If you don’t have dandruff, you can also use 1/3 cup apple cider vinegar mixed with 4 cups of water to rinse your hair of excess product buildup. Just use after shampooing, then rinse.
5. Your Dog’s Chewing Habit
If your dog won’t stop fucking chewing your expensive shoes, it’s time to go the apple cider vinegar route. Grab a spray bottle and mix together two parts apple cider vinegar, one part white vinegar, and half a part of lemon juice. Spray on things Fido finds delicious but like, aren’t meant to be delicious. Hw won’t chew shit after he gets a mouthful of that.
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