Fall is literally the best excuse to do anything. Drinking a 600 calorie pumpkin flavored coffee? Uh, it’s fall. Who cares? Eating Halloween candy even though you’re twentysomething years old and have no business slamming down mini Twix bars? ‘Tis the season. Blacking out at an apple cider tasting during a Sunday afternoon? It’s autumn. That’s practically a basic human right. Fall is seriously the best thing to blame all of your terrible decision making on. Here are a bunch of beauty products you can blow your rent money on in the sake of the betchiest season.
Not to be dramatic, but I have personally witnessed this lip product perform like, three different miracles. First of all, I received this as a sample and actually liked it enough to use it and then buy the full size. Anyone who has ever received a sample knows that this is rare AF. The second miracle is that this is a tube of lip treatment that I’ve actually reached the bottom of. Normally, Chapsticks and glosses get lost in the train wreck that is my daily life, but this thing somehow always makes it home with me at the end of a night, even if my debit card, ID, and dignity weren’t as lucky. And lastly, this is a tinted lip product that doesn’t make your lips look super crusty and creepy. It comes in some v fall-ish colors and even has SPF protection, so it’s totally perf for those autumn days when you’re sweating your ass off trying to get an Instagram in an apple orchard even though chilly weather isn’t even here yet.
Perhaps the biggest difference between summer and fall is that it’s more difficult to discretely disguise a hangover in the chillier months. You can’t necessarily fly under the radar with sunglasses on at brunch when it’s cloudy and cold in November. It’s probably time to start using a night eye cream so you look less like you’re on the verge of death next time you go too hard at happy hour.
If Cinderella was written in 2017, turning into a pumpkin at midnight would never be considered a bad thing, because that’s clearly what we’re all trying to achieve these days. If anything, she would have turned into like, gluten or something. Anyway, this bubble bar is a glittery-ass pumpkin, which is probably enough reason for half of you to want to buy 100 of them. It will make your skin sparkle and smell like cinnamon, and you’ll probably get a pretty decent, albeit basic, Boomerang out of it. Win, win, win.
Would a list of basic fall beauty products be complete without one of Kylie’s seasonal lip kits? Is the Pope Jewish? Is tequila on an empty stomach going to lead to a night filled with fond memories you’ll someday share with your future grandchildren? The answer to all of these questions, of course, is abso-fucking-lutely not. If you’ve ever tried Kylie’s matte lip kits, there’s a pretty solid chance you’ve ended up looking like you have dried food on your face, but that’s not the point. At most, they’re good for one selfie before the lipstick starts cracking and exposing the true shape of your lips. But like, this one comes in a cool new box, soo…
Remember when you spent the entire summer drunk at the beach, not giving a shit that your hair was dripping salt water because you’re one of those people who thinks you’re “secretly a mermaid”? Well, sorry to ruin your life, but plot spoiler: you’re a human and all that sand, sun, and saltwater made your hair dry as shit. Fall is the season to apologize to your hair for the crap you put it through all summer long. This spray uses apple cider vinegar (which is fall AF) to restore your hair’s strength. Now, whoever you’re forcing to play with your hair through cuffing season won’t have to deal with your gross, tangled ends. You’re welcome.