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5 Detox Dinners To Break Out Of Your Shame Spiral

Ready to sit and wallow in your own fat shame after watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show tonight? Us too!

In an effort to at least FEEL better about what we’re putting in our mouths, we’ve rounded up our top five favorite detox meals. They’re high in protein, low in carbs (yay), full of fresh vegetables, and will keep you full. You may not look like a VS model, but you’re fucking trying your best, dammit.

1. Autumn arugula salad

Grab your arugula and layer with pomegranate seeds, fresh sliced cucumber, pecans, roasted butternut squash, and avocado slices. The good fats will keep you full while the veggie freshness will make you feel très chic. You’ll feel like you’re at a goddamn spa.

2. Grilled shrimp with mango rice

Shrimp with rice

Thanks, Cooking Light, for giving us island flavors without giving us fat asses. This recipe combines grilled shrimp with a coconut rice dotted with mango, herbs, and peppers. Only 340 calories for a decadent dinner? Count us in. Feel free to even skip the rice and just serve up grilled shrimp, mango salsa, and, like, maybe a shot of rum.

3. Caesar salad with salmon

Salmon caesar salad

A decadent Caesar salad on a detox list? Fucking duh. Toss Romaine hearts with a light Caesar dressing, a few dashes of Parmesan, then top with a piece of baked salmon. Greens plus protein equal mean abs.

4. Steak and grilled zucchini

Steak with zucchini

Yes, you can have a fucking steak even if you’re trying to stay thin. I mean, if Anna Wintour can stay a size 00 and have one EVERY DAY for lunch, you’ll be fine. Prepare a 4 oz. steak in a cast iron pan with a little butter, salt, and pepper. Serve over oven-roasted zucchini OR zucchini noodles for a light but yummy dinner. We don’t even need a recipe for this shit.

5. Chicken, veggie, and rice bowl

Chicken plus veggies plus rice? It’s like Chipotle without the e-coli! Not only is this shit filling, but it has plenty of vitamins, protein, and good fat for a day that you may have ruined with cookies, popcorn, and Diet Coke. Feel free to adapt the recipe—I mean, it’s a bowl with stuff in it. We’re pretty sure you can’t fuck it up. And if you don’t want rice, replace it with a betchier grain like farro, barley, or quinoa.