Masturbation: everybody does it, but nobody wants to talk about it. That’s partly because there are all sorts of dumb masturbation myths out there, like, if you do it you’ll go blind, god kills a kitten, or you can grow hair on your hands. Seriously, who comes up with this sh*t? Probably the same people who claim that eating Kellogg’s Corn Flakes helps you “control it”. I mean, come on. Did Kellogg’s come up with that one? Nice try, we see you. We’re going to debunk the more legit-sounding masturbation myths, because hopefully you know that you won’t actually lose your eyesight. So go whip out your sex toys, if you can’t take a trip to Christian Grey’s red room, because masturbation is f*cking important.
Myth#1: Masturbating Will Ruin Your Ability To Orgasm
WRONG. Masturbating will actually HELP you orgasm. And what better way to practice literally anything than by yourself, naked, and in the comfort of your own home whenever you damn well feel like it?
If you can’t orgasm during sex with your partner or even when you’re alone, play around and figure it out! Learn the ins and outs of what you like, what you don’t like, and which techniques and products work best for you. Plus, the confidence, ease, and joy gained from knowing exactly what it takes for you finish are added bonuses.
Myth#2: It’s Wrong Or Inappropriate To Masturbate When You’re In A Relationship
Whoever started this one is an ass because it makes zero sense. Masturbating when you’re dating someone is not “cheating.” It’s also not cheating your partner out of sex. And it’s definitely not selfish. It’s 100% RIGHT and it’s 100% APPROPRIATE to do what you want with your own body whenever you want to (except maybe in public, because laws). Like How Cum podcast host Remy Kassimir told me, “Masturbation is sexy, and you are #1, and you SHOULD romance yourself.” PREACH.
If your partner is salty about how often you masturbate, let them in on the fun! Incorporate sex toys into the bedroom or have him/her watch you while you please yourself. If they’re still mad after you suggest these ideas, you should probably dump them because you’re clearly dating an idiot who’s trying to stop you from living your best life.
Myth#3: Using Vibrators Will Desensitize The Clitoris
Okay, so you used a vibrator to get off and now you’re laying in bed staring at the ceiling numb AF wondering if you’ll ever be able to feel your vulva again. Take a deep breath. You’ll be fine, and so will your body. Vibrators do NOT desensitize the clitoris, no matter how often you use them.
They also don’t destroy your ability to finish without using them. According to Mal Harrison, the founder of Center For Erotic Intelligence, you might create neurological pathways (aka a habit) that cause you to grow accustomed to using the same techniques or toys in order to orgasm, but you can break that habit… just like you can break the habit of texting your ex-f*ckboy whenever you get thirsty, Becca.
Myth#4: Masturbation Doesn’t Have Any Health Benefits
As if we need any more reason to masturbate than we already do, masturbation offers some really awesome health benefits. For example, rubbing one out will help heal headaches and cramps when you’re PMSing. It can also reduce stress, help you sleep better, relieve muscle tension, strengthen your muscles down there, boost your mood, and improve brain function. Should I keep going or do you get the point???
*Clears throat* IN CONCLUSION, there are lots of lies and propaganda out there. Turn a blind eye, my friends. Masturbation IS good for you and the entire world. You’re basically doing everyone a favor, so people should stop talking sh*t and start being grateful instead. Now go home and put into practice what we’ve learned.
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