Wedding vows are what make or break the ceremony. With the right vows, you can either leave your watchful audience (excuse me, wedding guests) laughing, crying, ready to get married next, or a combo of all three.
We know you’ve spent every boring meeting daydreaming about your wedding since you got engaged, and vows are a key part of that daydream. How could they not be, with inspo-worthy vows popping up in our favorite shows all the time? Do you want your vows to be tearjerking like Monica and Chandler’s, or sweet and simple like Jim and Pam’s? Or maybe you aren’t there yet, and are wondering what wedding vows even are, and how the hell one goes about writing them.
If you were an English major, great, time to put those skills to work. If you’re like the rest of us, well,
you’re SOL we consulted vow writing expert, Arissa Rench, who offers love coaching and vow writing for Luv Collective to help us understand the process. Need tips on how couples can write their own vows without sounding like a middle-school couple sharing awkward love notes? Read on. Here are her top three tips when writing your vows.
1. Match The Vibe Of Each Other’s Vows
It’d be really funny if a girl came up with beautiful wedding vows and then the guy just said ditto back
— Annika (@AnnikaLilleberg) January 29, 2014
Do you know what can get real awkward? When one person makes their vows two minutes long, full of heartfelt emotion, and the other person makes it two seconds with a generic cheesy line. If you and your partner aren’t sharing your vows with each other beforehand, you should at least agree on the vibe and length of your vows. You can also consider separately sharing what you’ve written with your wedding officiant beforehand, who can help you make sure they are harmonious with each other.
2. Get Specific With Your Vows
Wedding vows: I promise to always like your pictures on Instagram and retweet/favorite your posts on Twitter even if they’re not funny
— sara wesson (@saramariewes) August 14, 2013
If you’ll be writing your own vows, then take the time to add in some special details that are unique to your relationship. There are hundreds of generic vows you can choose from online, so if you’re going to write your own, make it worth that added effort! Here are some prompts to think about when writing your own vows: What is something special about you and your partner? This can be anything from how you met, what hobbies you share together, or references to smaller and more intricate parts of your relationship. What would mean a lot to promise to your partner? For some, it’s a cutesy promise to share the last bite of dessert, and for others a more in-depth promise of always growing together. If you and your partner are down for a few jokes or fun references, feel free to throw in a bit of humor to balance out the sniffles.
3. Prepare Your Vows In Advance
For those not going to my wedding you’ll miss the best plot twist ever. I’mma swap out my vows at the last minute for @ProBirdRights tweets.
— Lauren Ackerman (@VerbingNouns) September 21, 2013
According to Arissa, it’s ideal to have your vows written two months before the wedding so you can feel at ease with what you’ve written. Yes, I get that you like to procrastinate, but trying to complete your vows amidst your morning hair and makeup come wedding day is not ideal… I know from first-hand experience, and let me tell you, it was not pretty. It worked out fine in the end, but trust me when I say you don’t need any added stress on your wedding day.
As you continue to work on your vows, remember to stay calm and ask for help when you need it—whether it’s using a site like Luv Collective or just adding copy editing to your MOH’s list of duties. What matters most is your connection to your partner and the vows you create to guide your marriage. No matter how sappy that really sounds, it’s true!
Images: Jeremy Wong Weddings / Unsplash; VerbingNouns, saramariewes, AnnikaLilleberg / Twitter