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21 Bachelorette Decorations That Aren't Just Penises

POV: You’re planning your best friend’s Bachelorette party theme and the “pin the dick on the dude” vibe is really getting old. Listen, I’m all for helping your girl sow her wild oats one last weekend before the wedding, but let’s put a pause on the penises, ok? Let’s be a little more mature and do a grown up theme… Like wearing Y2K trends as if we were in 3rd grade again (duh). 

But if you’re going sans-penis, what bachelorette party decorations are we going with? That’s where we come in. Because let’s be honest…you’ve got a lot of shit on your plate already. Whether it’s deciding who gets which room in the Airbnb or forcing different friend groups to get along, one thing you shouldn’t have to worry about are the details of decor. Which is exactly why I planned it all for you. You’re welcome in advance. 

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LAST DISCO

Let’s be real, not a single one of you was even alive during the disco era. But honestly, who cares? If it means that the only type of balls that will be at the party are disco, I’m in. And, one thing I can pretty much guarantee is that none of you will be stayin’ alive with the hangover you’re sure to have on day two.

Disco Ball Headband And Veil

Every bride wants to be the center of attention, so this headband will ensure she shines brighter than anyone else.

xo, Fetti Bachelorette Party Decorations Disco Ball Headband
 $16.99

Last Disco Foil Balloons

Is it even a themed party if you don’t have balloons?

xo, Fetti Disco Ball Foil Balloons
 $9.99

Disco Ball Foil Curtain

More is more when it comes to disco decor.

xo, Fetti Disco Ball Foil Curtain
 $12.99

Stayin’ Alive Hangover Kit

I think this is self explanatory—help the group come back to life after a long night out.

Stayin Alive Hangover Kit
 $2.95

Y2K

A bachelorette party already feels like one giant sleepover, so why not just embrace it? Just go to your parents house, dig through your childhood closet, and I’m sure you’ll find A) a Juicy tracksuit, B) PINK sweatpants, C) your collection of hit clips or, D) all of the above. All that’s missing is some blow-up furniture and a few feather boas. 

Y2K Icons Party Banner

If Paris Hilton was pictured wearing and/or using it in 2005, it belongs on this banner and at your bach.

Y2K Party Banner
 $3.65

Bride Bucket Hat

Shade the bride from the sun while bringing back the best trend of the early ’00s.

Betches Bride Bucket Hat
 $34

Cutie Drink Pouches

It’s giving Limited Too graphic t-shirts and I’m absolutely here for it.

xo, Fetti Smiley Drink Pouches + Butterfly Straws
 $19.99

Iridescent Fringe Foil Curtain

Social media may not have existed back then, but this photo backdrop would’ve looked just as good on a disposable camera as it will on your phone.

xo, Fetti Decorations Iridescent Fringe Foil Curtain
 $13.99

NO THEME

Okay, hear me out. What if you went to a bach and the theme was simply…. Bachelorette Party? Let the bride be a bridezilla and wear white for 4 solid days straight, drink water that she desperately needs at the end of the night from one of those bride straws, and mourn celebrate her last few months/weeks of being unwed. Can’t go wrong with a classic. 

Pearl White Hair Bow

It’ll match every single one of the 30 white outfits she brought on the 3 day trip.

xo, Fetti Pearl White Hair Bow
 $13.99

Bride To Be Sash

It’s not a classic bach without a sash.

xo, Fetti Rhinestone Bride To Be Sash
 $11.99

Bride And Diamond Ring Straw Set

How will you know who’s the bride and who’s not if you don’t have specific straws that say it??

xo, Fetti Bachelorette Party XL Pink Bride + Diamond Ring Straw Set
 $16.99

Bride Balloon

I don’t need to spell it out for you, but she’s getting f*cking married and wants everyone to know.

xo, Fetti White Jumbo BRIDE Balloons
 $16.99

Rose Gold Foil Curtain

You’re going to need some color so the Bride Balloons don’t blend in with the stark white walls of the Airbnb.

KatchOn Rose Gold Fringe Curtain
 $10

LAST RODEO

If you’re not scream-singing Shania Twain at the top of your lungs by the end of the night, did you really even go to a western-themed bachelor party? Give the girls what they want! And by that I mean a reason to wear the cowboy boots they bought last year that are sitting in the back of their closet… 

Bride Cowgirl Hat

Every bride wants a hat with a veil ever since the ’98 version of The Parent Trap. IYKYK.

xo, Fetti Bride Cowgirl Hat
 $26.99

Let’s Go Girls Glitter Banner

Man, I feel like a woman.

xo, Fetti Let's Go Girls Glitter Banner
 $10.99

Cowgirl Boot Shot Glasses

The phrase “boot and rally,” has truly taken on a new meaning at bachelorette parties.

Cowgirl Boot Shot Glasses
 $2.30

Cow Print Balloons

These are just so f*cking cute, I can’t.

25 PCS Cow Balloons
 $6.99

RIP TO YOUR SINGLE LIFE

I may or may not have binged one too many true-crime podcasts before writing this but if I could re-do my own bachelorette, you better believe this would have been the theme. Dressing in all black makes packing so simple. And TBH the vibe is giving Kourt & Travis Barker and I’m here for it.

RIP Single Life Glitter Banner

The whole group will literally be dead when they see this 💀.

xo, Fetti RIP Single Life Glitter Banner
 $11.99

Silver Fringe Backdrop

We need a little contrast to the black — it’s a little too Kravis without it.

KatchOn Silver Backdrop
 $10

Black Balloon Arch Kit

Decor to perfectly match the entire bridal party’s wardrobe.

NISOCY Black Latex Balloon Arch Kit
 $8.99

Mrs White Rhinestone And Satin Gloves

Any reason to wear formal gloves feels like a good one.

Mrs Opera Gloves
 $11.99

 

 

 

 

Abbey Westlin
Abbey Westlin
Abbey Westlin is a self-proclaimed iced coffee enthusiast, practitioner of beauty, and fashion connoisseur. By day, she makes a living by creating Fashion and Lifestyle content for Betches Media. By night, she enjoys cooking intricate meals, sipping a glass (or four) of rosé, and keeping up with the news. Follow her on Instagram @abbey_westlin.