Online shopping is crack to a betch. And like a good drug dealer, designers sometimes lace it with shit. Surprise! Three to five business days later, and you’re the proud owner of a gold sequined plastic pair of clogs. We rounded up the ugliest shit to FB message your online shopping obsessed besties just to see if you can really get them to wear it out this weekend.
1. Free People Denim Jumpsuit – 6pm.com
Who knew that the style influence of the show ‘Breaking Amish’ was so strong? It actually makes complete sense when you think that these people have no access to the Internet. Basically, all their style advice comes from, like, reading crop circles or some shit.
Rick Owens new target demographic: your grandma in need of orthopedic shoes. NEVER CATCH GRANNY SLIPPIN’.
Find out here how much these cost. It's ridic.
The guy’s last name is the most disgusting sandwich meat ever and that’s not even the worst part about this. But really, this is the sleaziest fucking shirt that has ever existed. How many times do you think Chris Brown tried to phone order one of these from jail? Mr. Bologna had to accept the collect call (Thank you, Orange Is The New Black) from his only customer. These clothes ain’t loyal.
Remember that scene in What A Girl Wants where they put her in the ruffle dress and pre-psycho Amanda Bynes reworks it? This was the before dress. Modern day psychotic Bynes is sketching this very look at FIDM right now.
Lolz. I could be stranded in fucking Antarctica, and it will still never be cold enough for me to wear this. This looks like you gave your coat to coat check and it ate all the other coats. Natural selection, bitches.
Don’t get me wrong I love looking sickly skinny and a good ribcage as much as the next betch, but this has taken the “needs medical attention” look way too far.
Not pictured: IV pole
Fun fact: Danica Patrick’s driving shoe.
R.E.I. for Prada. Pull a 127 Hours to your leg if this shoe is on your foot.
The bitch that buys this is so fucking annoying, I literally can’t. You’re not hippie, different, cool, dgaf. You’re disgusting and hope the onesie hides your skinny/fat oblong pale body.
Useful for two things: (1) becoming a human periscope or (2) becoming the Grim Reaper and filling the backpack with souls. Thanks, Cote & Ciel, now I’ll no longer have to wait those first five minutes in a conversation for someone to feel out that I’m creepy and strange.
No one tell Nic Cage that everything he’s been searching for in his National Treasure movies are hanging in his local Urban Outfitters. Nic Cage faces his most treacherous opponent yet: hipsters, and girls that think silver Birkenstocks are cool. The Illuminati is alive and thriving.
JEE-SUS Walks. The only time you should be wearing a tunic is if you ACTUALLY have the ability to turn water into wine. Yes, please.