10 Ways You're Sabotaging Yourself By Not Drinking Enough Water

We are all FULLY aware that drinking water is good for us. Want clear skin? Water. Trying to lose weight? Replace all meals with water. (Jk. Please don’t do that.) Want to look hotter in general? Water. Want to bring about world peace, get Trump impeached, bring back Obama for a third term, and ensure a lifetime of not having to work but getting paid for laying around? Probably water. You get the idea.

But there are magical things that this literal elixir of life can do for you that you may not have known about. Sure, chugging water may clear up your zitty face, but did you know if gives you a lot more energy? Probs not. So I rounded up 10 surprising benefits of drinking water. And no, Diet Coke does not count. Get to chuggin’. 

1. You Won’t Be So Goddamn Tired All The Time

Water naturally boosts your metabolism and makes you super focused, since your brain is made up of like, water and other things (according to science). So, if you’re having trouble concentrating on the mile long to-do list on your desk, chug water and you may be able to focus on it.


2. You’ll Flush Out The Crap You’ve Been Eating & Drinking

Are your weekends full of drugs and binge drinking? Water can help flush those looked-down-upon activities right out of your system. By the miracle of peeing, you can help your body more quickly give the old heave-ho to those tequila shots lingering in your body.

3. You’ll Lessen Your Chances Of Getting Sick

My husband is currently laid up in bed for day three of “I can’t take care of myself and have the flu.” He could have prevented this by drinking enough water and boosting his immune system. That means that instead of watching a grown man moan about sinus pressure, I could have pressured him into taking me to a nice dinner. The more you know.


4. Your Headache Will Magically Disappear

Does your head hurt all the goddamn time? Do you attribute it to the idiots you work with everyday? It COULD just be that you’re dehydrated! If you chug water, the headache may actually disappear. If it doesn’t, good luck finding a new job.

5. You’ll Be Less Likely To Injure Yourself

Hey guess what? If you drink water, your muscles will stay limber, and your joints will stay lubricated (ew, but true). That means you’ll be MUCH less likely to fall while wearing your new BCBG flats, break your foot, and have to wear a fug boot for a week, all because you couldn’t quite get a grip on texting and walking. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.

The Situation

6. Your Cramps Won’t Be Quite As Shitty

Brace yourself, cause it’s fucking true. If you have more water in your system when Red October rolls around, your muscles will be more elastic, and therefore, less likely to cramp up on you. Plus, you’ll be peeing out all that water weight anyway, so you can justify being like, five pounds heavier that week.

7. You’ll Be Less Poor

This is an obvious one, but, in case you missed it, water is FREE unless you’re drinking the bougie kind and/or living in Flint, Michigan. Honestly tho, save a few bucks, grab a sustainable metal bottle, fill it with not-disgusting tap, and chug. Your wallet will thank you.

Help Me I'm Poor

8. You’ll Have Less Wrinkles

Yas, we know water is good for our skin (obv), but it can also help stave off the onset of wrinkles. By moisturizing your skin from the inside and preventing fluid loss, you lessen the likelihood of some nasty-ass crow’s feet on your face.

9. You’ll Eat Less

A great trick is to chug water BEFORE you eat. It’ll fill your stomach, make you feel full, and you’ll be more likely to exercise some goddamn self-control when faced with cake, cookies, fried chicken, etc.


10. You’ll Feel Skinnier

Don’t deny that you fucking love taking a grand shit, feeling 10 pounds lighter, and being able to squeeze into that body suit afterward. Yah, it’s gross, but chugging water will help maintain your ability to be regular. And that, friends, is priceless. 

Images: Madison Bilsborough / Unsplash; Giphy (5)