The Zika Virus Might Ruin Your Spring Break

Obvi you’ve emerged from your holiday hibernation to start working on your bikini body for spring break, because there’s no reason to go to Squid Row if you’re not wearing a crop top or bodicon dress. Well in case you needed another reason to not get pregnant with whatever frat boy you’ll hook up with in a hotel room, Zika virus will fuck up your baby.

Zika isn’t the name of Madonna’s latest child, it’s a disease spread by mosquito bites and causes developmental problems in fetuses, like smaller than average brain sizes. If you get bit by a mosquito and you’re not prego, then nothing happens. But if you’re already pregnant or become pregnant soon after being bitten, Plan B becomes your Plan A. The real problems with Zika are that there’s no way to cure it and it’s probably going to mutate into an STD by the time you go through customs.

So basically: bring condoms, insect repellent, and a shit ton of Advil on spring break. And remember don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. 


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