America’s teen sweethearts—aka the poor man’s Brangelina—“ended things” a few weeks ago. Naturally, after being way too invested in a celebrity relationship that literally doesn’t effect us at all, everyone freaked the fuck out. Since then, the pair has been spotted doing some shadily not broken up things, leading us all to speculate: Are Gigi and Zayn back together? Did they separate in the first place? Are they actually robots? Why is Zayn the saddest person alive? Below, an investigation:
June 2: Gigi and Zayn “break up.” Hell breaks loose/world ends/Yolanda Hadid sobs in her see-through refrigerator.
June 3: When asked by TMZ, Mohamed Hadid (the man who so selflessly donated his sperm to create such a goddess) had no knowledge of a breakup. He’s also like “Zayn who?” but that’s not important. Mohamed is busy making beautiful supermodels, he doesn’t have time to keep up with their famous “boyfriends.”
June 3: Gigi Snapchatted herself singing to “PILLOWTALK”—Zayn’s song about sex and/or crying that featured who else? HER in the music video. SHADY.
June 5: A telling Elle.com interview arises. When asked, “Night out or night in?” Gigi responded, “Night in. Cook. Paint. Play with my dog. Hang out with my boyfriend.” BOYFRIEND.
June 10: This.
June 11: Zayn cancels a show due to “anxiety” (caused by the crippling panic of an “on and off” relationship unfolding in the public eye???)
June 12: Gigi tweets out a message of support. Says she “loveshim.”
Conclusion: they broke up for a hot minute—probably because Zayn did something dumb (like wear that Louis Vuitton sweater pictured above)—and then got back together. Which, be honest, in your early 20’s isn’t even a big fucking deal/pretty normal. So, just keep doing what you’re doing, you two crazy and in love superhumans. Mazel!