There's a company that let's you anonymously send any asshole a literal bag of gummy dicks. This is 100,000 times better than the glitter bomb. All you do is go to this website, put in a mailing address, pay $15, and in a couple days whoever deserves to choke on a dick receives a bag with the note “Eat a bag of dicks.” That is this company's business model and my new hobby.
The company is called “Dicks by Mail” and their slogan is “Send a message. Send dicks.” How happy are you to live in a world where this is a possibility> Also, these people are hilarious. Their marketing platform is sending dicks “to anyone in your life that deserves that feeling of sadness, disappointment and betrayal.” They suggest sending it to the asshole you work with, an ex, or an obnoxious authority figure in your life. I'd like to add any betch who thinks she can outdrink you, that girl in your sorority who hooked up with your ex, or your sister after stealing your favorite dress. No one is safe.