Now You Can Hire Bridesmaids So Your Friends Don’t Hate You

If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, you know how terrible it is. You have to obsess over someone who isn’t you, which sucks, but you also have to be nice to them when they’re being a BSCB. You can’t tell your bride-to-be BFF that she’s being certifiably insane two weeks before her wedding. You just can’t. But being on the bride’s side of things isn’t a cake walk either. There’s always one in the group that doesn’t get her role and makes it about her. We’ve all seen SYTTD Bridesmaid edition. But now, this genius of a woman is helping out both parties with a bridesmaid for hire service. Why TF didn’t I think of that?

At first I wasn’t so sure about this. I mean, wouldn’t it look kinda lame if you have to pay for bridesmaids, like you don’t have any friends or something? But the pros outweigh the cons here big time. For one, you won’t lose any friends over your wedding planning. God knows, all brides throw at least five bitch fits before the big day, and their bride tribe probs hates them for it. Remember that girl that made her bridesmaids pay for her wedding dress? She better like that gown and her husband A LOT because she’s a fucking loner now.

The other benefit is that these people will actually help you. Sure—Megan, the pledge class lush, might seem like a good idea for bridesmaid, but do you think she’ll help you finalize your guest list? Or write down who gave you the tacky mirror at your shower so you can send thank you notes? Fuck no she won’t. She’ll be adding cough syrup to the punch in the kitchen. These paid bridesmaids have to help because it’s their job. It’s the most genius thing I’ve ever heard. Here’s to hoping this catches on quick so I can stop buying ugly dresses and helping my friends pee.

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