Buzzkill Scientists Say Any Amount Of Alcohol Is Bad For You

It’s not a complete shock that scientists are claiming that alcohol is bad for you (especially in the doses that we regularly consume alcohol). But countries around the world have practically always advocated for “drinking in moderation” or “one or two beverages a day.” Which is another joke in itself, but I digress.

Unfortunately, it looks like either A) scientists are trying to ruin our lives or B) these countries have been wrong the whole time. According to U.K. Chief Medical Officer Sally Davies, there is no “safe level of drinking.” And it’s not just the British; the U.S. Department of Health and Health Services has stopped claiming that light drinking can lower the risk of heart disease in the last year.

WTF is happening

So according to a new article posted by the Wall Street Journal, alcohol companies are pushing back on these claims of “junk science” (thank god). And what the junk science claims is that there is a sizable correlation between alcohol consumption and cancer, so in other words you should never drink any alcohol at all.

The public enemy funding the research in this battle is the World Health Organization, and this war has been decades in the making. Ten years ago, the WHO decided to commission a study on the overall dangers of alcohol, including accidents and infections. Then in 2010, the WHO decided drinking was “harmful on a population-wide scale.” Now, the organization has turned its eyes to determining which cancers have a high correlation to binge drinking.

Beyonce can you not

What does this all mean? Well, the WHO’s guidelines have in the past affected things like taxes and consumption globally. I mean, the U.K. has already blindly followed this new “science.” Ireland is now considering its next steps to reduce alcohol consumption nationwide.

But we say fuck science. At this point, everything in holy has been labeled a carcinogen: diet coke, the artificial food coloring in mac and cheese, any exposure to the sun, the list goes on and on. And we won’t stand for it anymore.

A glass of rosé a day will keep the doctor away. It’s science.



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