Women Everywhere Hate Nice Guys, Survey Finds

Anyone who reads this site (all three-dozen or so of you) is aware of the SAB vs. Nice Guy dilemma. Namely, that while Nice Guys would probably provide more utility in the long run, they carry with them the opportunity cost of not being anyone you’d want to fuck (so glad I was an econ major). This is an eternal problem for betches, but what about for people who live in places where Applebee’s outnumber barre studios by at least 2:1?

As it turns out, the nation’s relationship with SABs and Nice Guys is about as complicated as your relationship with your Nuva Ring that’s more convenient than the pill but won’t stay in place. As you can see in the annoyingly branded and unnecessarily vertical infographic from dating app Clover, below, while women in most states prefer “bad boys,” Nice Guys win out in some surprising places.


What makes this tough is that they don’t really say what constitutes a “bad boy” or a Nice Guy. The Nice Guy interests (family, cuddling, etc.) make him sound like a fucking pud, while the bad boy traits sound suspiciously like someone you’d meet at a Trump rally in a landlocked state.

The results kind of bear that out. In San Francisco, a city loaded with Nice Guy dweebs who think Ruby code is a form of foreplay, the “bad boys” who have actually seen a girl naked reign supreme. But in Los Angeles, where 90s hip-hop has taught me that literally everyone has multiple tattoos, a volunteering bookworm might do alright. Denver, a place that sucks, prefers Nice Guys. That’s partially because of the rest of the state’s inbred, doomsday prepper vibe, but also because of the aforementioned suckiness.

But in the end? Sorry, SABs are just better than regular people. Anyone can cuddle, but it takes a real Master of the Universe to be clever enough to list “sex” as an interest on a dating app.


More amazing sh*t

Best from Shop Betches