Woman Gets DUI Charge Dismissed Because Her Body Brews Alcohol

A New York woman might not be part of the lucky sperm club, but her genetics made her lucky enough to get out of a DUI.

The woman has what they’re calling, “auto-brewery syndrome,” in which the sugars in the food she eats get converted to alcohol, and hipster brewery owners in Portland are totally jealous.

The woman was arrested for having a blood-alcohol level of more than four times the legal limit. The woman’s lawyer told CNN: “Her husband drives to meet friends and she is driving home. She gets a flat close to home but doesn’t want to change the tire so keeps on driving. Another driver sees her struggling with the car and calls it in as an accident. So if she hadn’t had that flat tire, she’d not know to this day that she has this condition.”

The police asked her to do a breathalyzer because she was being an idiot, driving with a flat tire. The woman blew a 0.40, which is insane and also life-threatening in normal, not home-tummy-brewing folk, so the police took her to the hospital.

The hospital people figured something was up because this lady was acting pretty much totally normal, except for being a bit wobbly on her feet. Frat bros around the world would have to be impressed with her rally skills on this one, except for the fact that she wasn’t actually drunk.

She now has to maintain a super sucky diet of no sugar or alcohol and very few carbs, which would be okay if she really wanted to lose three pounds.

An ass hat of a DA in the state of New York might appeal the judge’s decision to dismiss the DUI charge, but, like, isn’t not being able to ever drink again a harsh enough punishment?


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