Why Wimbledon Is The Betchiest Sporting Event

Break out your best whites, because Wimbledon starts this week. Whether you give a shit about tennis or not, Wimbledon should be on your radar because it’s clearly the betchiest sporting events of the year, for a few different reasons.

First, it’s old as shit. The first Wimbledon was in 1877, which means this year is the 129th year. If you need a historical reference point for this, slavery had like just ended in the United States. Also the tournament is technically called “The Championships, Wimbledon,” because it wasn’t bougie enough.

Wimbledon also happens to have basically the world’s strictest dress code. Players are required to wear clothing that is predominantly white, which is basically what tennis was before Serena and Venus came along. And this isn’t like your middle school dress code because they’re not afraid to enforce it. At least they don’t care if your mini skirt goes to your fingertips.

If you didn’t know, Wimbledon is played on grass courts, which are super rare nowadays and like crazy hard to maintain. There are only like five other tournaments all year that are played on grass, so like you better figure out what to do fast. And only like, two places in the US have grass courts, so don’t pretend your country club does.

Lastly, it’s fucking tennis. It’s been well documented that tennis is one of the world’s betchiest sports, and all of these other factors clearly put Wimbledon at the top of the sports Betch list.


More amazing sh*t

Best from Shop Betches