Does this sound familiar? You find yourself wishing dating was as simple as it was in the past, when people “went steady” and bros asked for your number in grocery store aisles? Well, you’re wrong. Old school dating wasn’t as great as you think it was, and here’s why.
Sure, bros used to ask girls out like this: “Want to go out on Friday night with me? Great, I’ll pick you up at 8.” Then they’d show up with flowers and drive you to the movies, and sure, that all sounds nice. Now imagine how many shitty Tinder first dates you’ve been on. The chances of you liking a bro the first time you go out with him are pretty slim. So in the old school dating scene, even if a bro brings you flowers and buys you soda pop, you’d still have a pretty high chance of hating his guts on your first date. But instead of being able to swipe left and onto the next, you’d probably have to wait until next weekend to go on another date, at best. At worst, you could be waiting months until you met another suitor in the fresh produce aisle of your local grocery store to ask you for your landline phone number.
If you ask your parents how many relationships they’ve been in, chances are it’s less than a third of yours. And your grandparents will have been in even less, proportionally. We think of being in lots of relationships as a bad thing only because it feels like we’re failing over and over again. But think again, betches. Casual dating actually means you have less obligation to stay in a bullshit relationship if it’s not working out. I mean, bros used to go steady with betches just because they wanted regular sex, but now that both betches and bros can get laid at any swipe, you’re less likely to rush into a relationship that’s not worth your time. It might seem frustrating to have guys ghost after a few dates, but on the other hand, if your date wears an Ed Hardy shirt and has a Bob Marley poster hanging over his twin bed, you can just not go home with him and still sleep with your ex that night.
The fact that relationships don’t last as long as they used to doesn’t mean they’re shittier. It actually just means you’re getting closer to the right one faster. The more relationships you’re in, the more you learn about what you want, and the more likely you’ll end up with someone that’s actually a good fit. Case in point, how many old school relationships started in the past are actually still happy and in love today? Just because bros married their high school sweethearts in the past doesn’t mean they died à la The Notebook in each other’s arms.
Another pro about modern dating is texting. Sure, texting seems like the worst sometimes, but tbh it’s the best thing that’s happened to dating since birth control. Our parents had to wait at the fucking phone for someone to maybe call them, and if they weren’t at the phone at the exact moment it happened, then too fucking bad. Imagine how awful ghosting was back then. You couldn’t even stalk their Instagram to know if they were alive or not. In modern dating, you might still have to wait for him to text you back, but “waiting” is pretty loosely used considering you can go to brunch, SoulCycle, take a final, and meet your rebound all while hoping for a text back.
The best part about modern dating is that there’s less bullshit. Old school dating was misogynistic AF. Bringing flowers for a girl on a first date is just another way for a bro to butter you up in the hopes that you’d sleep with him. Think about how annoyed you feel when a bro gets you too many gifts early on in a relationship. That’s how women felt all the time, probably. I mean, you get annoyed when a bro sends you too many Youtube video links, can you imagine getting fucking flowers every time you go to the movies?
Basically dating is shitty in every era, because until you meet your husband (if you’re even, like, into that), you’re going to date assholes at some point. It’s not that assholes didn’t exist in old school dating, it’s just that betches didn’t figure out they were assholes until it was too late (i.e. married with kids and a house with a white picket fence). Modern dating might feel like there are more assholes you have to date, but it’s just because you’re able to call out the bullshit faster. Plus, the older marriage age just means you have a better chance at getting married before your exes do. So happy swiping, betches.