There are many ways the world can end, and we’re not convinced it hasn’t already, tbh. Our least favorite way, however, is anything that involves zombies. What is it about zombies that everyone’s so obsessed with? Look, we kind of get vampires because True Blood is a good show and Buffy & Spike were one of our fav forbidden couples, but the zombie obsession has not gone away and we’re not sure why.
If you’ve ever gotten stuck in a conversation about the zombie apocalypse, then you know some people have way too much time on their hands. Going from a 10 to an 8 is more likely to happen in our lifetime, but you don’t see us planning for that. Yet nerds love to let you know exactly where they would run and what they would eat and how they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot you in the head if you became a zombie. One conversation about zombies is like, NBD every once in a while, but people are literally obsessed with the undead and it’s like okay, cool. But r u ok?
Imagine how hungover you are after your best friend’s wedding. Multiply that by 10. That’s what we imagine being a zombie feels like. Plus not only are you hungover AF, you also look like shit. And the only thing you can eat is brains. Ugh, no thank you.
But even if zombies did happen, we’d just get in a private jet and fly TF out of there. Right? Can zombies swim? Lol, does it matter? No, because they don’t exist. From TV shows to movies, it seems like the world keeps throwing zombies at us. Can we pick a new non-existent monster to be obsessed about? We’re bored, and zombies are ugly.
We’re saying this because we literally don’t get the obsession. Like can we petition that mermaids are the next zombies? And the world getting covered in water is more likely to happen than an army of brain-eating zombies coming to life.