Whatever, We’re Making Cheese Fries

Happy October 3rd, betches. In honor of this, our founding holiday, we need to celebrate correctly.

Let’s toss it back to Mean Girls, where the betch movement like, pretty much started. One food stands out from that time: cheese fries. Not only an actual delicious (yet guilty) food item, a standing expression for not giving a fuck—cheese fries are forever near and dear to our hearts. So, we made some by adapting a recipe that brings together these sacred calorie sticks AND nachos, our favorite margarita accessory.


  • 2 russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/3 inch thick fries
  • 1 ½ pints peanut oil
  • Kosher salt
  • 2 oz cream cheese
  • 2 tbsps milk
  • 1 tsp veggie oil
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1/3 cup shredded cheddar
  • ¼ cup shredded habanero cheese or pepper jack cheese
  • Jalapeños
  • Fresh avocado
  • Salsa


Yes, you’re going to make your own fries for this shit. Grab a big bowl of water and soak the potatoes for like an hour. Drain well and pat dry.

In a Dutch oven, heat your peanut oil to 350 degrees (yah you’ll need one of those fancy oil thermometers), then add the potatoes and cook until light brown—5 minutes or so. Take them out and transfer to a plate lined with a paper towel to soak up the grease. Increase the oil temperature to 400F then add the potatoes BACK in until they get super crispy—should take like 2 mins tops. Transfer again to a paper towel lined plate, sprinkle with salt, and put aside.

In a saucepan over medium high heat, melt your cream cheese. Whisk in the milk, oil, salt, and pepper, then stir in your cheeses until that shit is super smooth.

Drizzle that cheese sauce allllll over your fresh fries, then top with jalapeños, diced avocado, and salsa.

Sweatpants will be all that fit you after this, but it’s totes worth it.


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