Sometimes shit happens during the act. Sex is rarely perfect especially when the bros we’re sleeping with are anything but. How did Samantha Jones actually enjoy herself basically every time? We have no fucking clue.
Caring is for nice girls. Only nice girls cry. Betches don’t give a shit and have the RBF to prove it. However, sometimes our lack of emotions gets the best of us and we realize the bro we’re having sex with sucks so we cry.
We’re not saying this is okay 100% of the time you have sex. Even anything over 10% is pushing it.
In case you find yourself having sex (probably after a few too many tequila shots) and tearing up – here’s how to handle the situation like a true betch.
1.Pretend you have something in your eye
If you can stop the tears before they get out of control, there’s nothing easier than pretending your contact is all messed up from all the moving around you’ve been doing.
2. Lie and say your cat died yesterday
Cats fucking suck so this would not be something we would ever be caught crying about, but what this bro doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Or his self-confidence.
3. Say you’ve been under a lot of pressure at work
By pressure at work, we mean our boss has finally caught on we take 15 minute bathroom breaks every hour. We DGAF about the nasty look he throws our way on the walk back to our desk, but whatever.
4. Say your favorite character just died on Grey’s Anatomy
This happens like every fucking midseason finale so no explanation necessary. The fact that you’re having sex with someone besides McDreamy would make anyone with a soul cry.
5. Put your clothes back on and go home to drunk eat
At the end of the day, this bro probably had a small penis so you were wasting your time anyway. His lack of ability and performance barely deserved a “aw that was fun GTG!” so you saved yourself the awkward small talk. Sometimes crying actually works in our favor. Just don’t start doing this shit all the time or you’ll become that girl who cries everytime someone touches her boob.