Buckle In For A Bumpy Ride: Your Weekly Horoscopes For May 14-18

Uranus enters Taurus this week, shaking things up for all signs. Uranus will stay in Taurus for the next seven years; that impacts our wallets. Of course, when things get weird at the bank, other values are likely to change. Don’t be surprised if you’re so over that logo-emblazoned handbag for something more subtle. I mean, it’s all about minimalism now and not looking like a Kardashian circa 2008, got it?

Aries

With Mercury and Uranus in money-conscious Taurus, it’s best you check your bank account at least once this week. Stay connected with people who have an impact on your finances. Like, you better have really turned out for Mother’s Day so as to not piss off mom and dad. Likewise, try not to mouth off at work too much. You need your boss to keep liking you because of, well, money and stuff.

Taurus

Literally so much is going on in your sign. The Sun, Mercury and the New Moon are all in Taurus this week. Similarly, you’ve just got a lot going on in your life in general. Don’t get overwhelmed by the changes or all the attention you’re getting right now. When the dust settles, you’ll feel ready to tackle new adventures like getting that long bob you keep pinning or switching your go-to drink from vodka sodas to gin and tonics.

Gemini

Mercury in Taurus in your subconscious realm will spark inner dialogues and debates this week. Think Carrie Bradshaw, only not as trite and with way fewer rhetorical questions. You’ll need to figure out some shit, but the best way to go about it is to work it out on your own. Your friends are great for talking shit about others and discussing the best happy hour spots, but when it comes to what’s best for you, you really know best.

Cancer

With Uranus changing signs, don’t be surprised if you change your mind about something major in your life. with a New Moon on the way, Tuesday is an excellent day to reevaluate your goals. Is it really feasible that you’re going to become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and eventually marry a pro athlete, or is it time you come up with a fallback plan? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Leo

The Sun is at the top of your chart so you continue to be highly visible to your superiors. But as a Leo, when aren’t you in the spotlight? Anyway, with negotiator Mercury in determined Taurus and your house of career, use that spotlight to your advantage as you head into that job interview or negotiate your salary. Chances are, higher-ups will admire your chutzpah and want you on their team.

Virgo

You’re provided with a little planetary Adderall this week. With Mercury, your ruler, in your house of higher learning you’ll be likely to fall down a rabbit hole of uncovering knowledge on a new topic. Much like with Adderall itself, this could be super helpful if there’s something you need to buckle down and focus on. Or, it could be really pointless if you stay up until 3am reading the Wikipedia pages for each branch of the Real Housewives franchise.

Libra

It’s going to be hard for you to keep a secret this week with chatty Mercury in your communication zone. Your House of Secrets could get wrecked faster than a medium pepperoni pizza in a house full of drunk sorority girls. Hopefully, you don’t have anyone confide something super secret to you this week. If they do, just issue a disclaimer before they start talking so you can’t be held responsible when you spill the tea.

Scorpio

With Mercury in your partnership zone and Uranus opposite your sign, you’re pulled to connect with a significant other, coworker or friend. Conversations go smoothly because you find it easy to find common ground. It’s probably a good of a time as any to DTR. Dating is like gambling, right? Don’t put your cards on the table unless you have a good hand, and the universe is dealing you a full house of planetary help.

Sagittarius

Everything that’s actually important is a priority this week. That means your health, your job, your family should all come first. You know, like, above your follower count and making sure your highlighter is perfect. Get the important shit handled so you can focus on the fun stuff later. Green shake first, tequila second.

Capricorn

Watch the oversharing this week, Capricorn. With chatty Mercury in Taurus, you’ll feel more comfortable talking openly about your sex life, dating and personal family shit. The problem is, you might feel great talking about it, but not everyone cares to listen. Careful not to be too annoying with your Instagram stories and Tweets. Not everyone needs to know how much you loved popping boyfriend’s weird back zit, got it?

Aquarius

Maybe it’s because Mother’s Day was Sunday or you’ve been watching too much Hollywood Medium, but you’re really focused on learning more about your family history this week. Communicator Mercury in Taurus in your domestic realm will make it easier to get caught up in family affairs. Expect the family group chat to be popping off.

Pisces

You’re digging your heels in on an important issue in the week ahead. For the next two weeks, your POV will be pretty fixed, so tell anyone trying to change your mind that they’re wasting their time. Mercury in determined Taurus in your communication zone means even though others won’t change your mind, your confidence in the subject matter will definitely be more persuasive to others. So yes, go ahead and argue that the Keto diet is bullshit no matter what that Netflix documentary says.

Images: Giphy (6)

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