Close your eyes and think about the pair(s) of sneakers that you own. Are the soles worn down from running copious amounts of miles? Way to go, fitness guru.
Are they covered in sharpie doodles? It’s time to grow up and move on, punk rock princess.
Are they an adorable accessory you use during your commute? Slay, corporate queen. Slay.
Are they an expensive pair of over-the-top dress shoes meant to be worn only for formal occasions? If they are, we need to talk.
Sneakers—you know, the heinous looking footwear you wore every day in elementary school, paired with leggings and an oversized T-shirt? The shoe that traveled with you through every awkward middle school gym class? The shoe that helped you transition into high school, whether they were a pair of Chucks you scribbled lyrics all over or a pair of Nikes you cleaned daily? Yeah. Those sneakers.
By nature, sneakers are casual. They were designed for comfort. So can someone please explain to me why they’ve designed evening athletic shoes? Formal sneakers, like most of the cable I watch, make zero sense. Physically, metaphorically, fashionably—zero. Sense.
On a spiritual note, I get that as a country, America is like, casual AF, but now we just look lazy. So lazy that we can’t even dress up anymore. Who came up with the clever oxymoron that is the formal sneaker? I’m willing to bet it was some hipster fashion mogul who dreamed of one day pleasing the likes of Tyra and/or Tim Gunn. Similarly, I would love to hear their thoughts.
— Stuart 8000 (@Stuart8000) September 6, 2016
What’s worse is that these formal sneakers have made their way into the world of bridal. Freaking BRIDES are checking off the “something old” box and wearing dated Keds as they walk down the aisle. Girl, no. Have we lost all self-respect? Is marriage no longer sacred?
With all of that said, it’s time to make fashion great again and keep sneakers where they belong. You don’t wear Valentino’s to run errands. You wear them to look amaze. So please, stop with the formal sneaker thing.