Watermelon Wine Cooler

The closer the temperature gets to 100, the more I want to drink away the heat. Honestly, is there anything better to do in the summer but laugh at fat people and drink? The answer to that riddle is no.

We’ve been a fan of wine coolers ever since our cool moms introduced it to us. TBH, few things give us this much joy – especially when the sugar content is about the same as eating a bag of gummy bears. Adding watermelon just makes it even more summery and festive.


  • 1 bottle Chardonnay
  • 1 cup vodka
  • ½ cup Cointreau
  • ½ cup simple syrup
  • 1 cup fresh raspberries
  • 12 cups or about ½ a large watermelon, cubed

Blend about 9 cups of the watermelon in a blender until super smooth. If you’re super OCD, strain the juice through a mesh strainer before putting it into a giant pitcher. Add the wine, vodka, Cointreau, and simple syrup to the pitcher – stirring to combine. Mix in the remaining watermelon and the raspberries. Let this shit chill in the fridge for 2-4 hours, then serve up to your besties while you judge people for their summer fashion faux pas.


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