They come out every year – the ugly sweater. We’ve rounded up 2015’s UGLIEST so we can talk more shit:
The Sexy Ugly Christmas Sweater:
Breast-feeding moms can dress up their boobs for the Christmas season. These sweater kits come complete with eyes, nose and a nipple pasty so you can leave your saggy baby-feeder out while you’re getting liquored up on eggnog, right before you pump-and-dump in your aunt’s bathroom. It’s cool, because they make a version for guys as well. Except that kit doesn’t come with a nose, because their #freethenipples serve that purpose.
The Pop Culture Sweater:
Okay, this is actually kind of cool. But only because it’s Drizzy, and he’s wearing a fun sweater and handing out gifts! Star Wars Sweaters are also super-popular this season (the movie premieres this Friday). Of course the traditional Christmas-pop-culture-references like A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation sweaters still reign supreme.
The Heinous Sweater:
Gag. Who wants to look at three reindeer boning? Grow up, this sweater sucks. Then there’s the sweater with Rudolph puking, or the one with Santa taking a shit. With Summer Roberts’ conviction, we say EW and insist that these sweaters be burned for the greater good.
The Make-Your-Own Ugly Sweater:
Christmas is not a time for arts and crafts. Just because you’re sitting around with the fam doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to make a gingerbread anything, custom ornaments, OR ugly sweaters. There’s too much freedom there. You might think grabbing a make-your-own sweater kit is a good idea – next thing you know, your grandma is screen-printing photos of you will braces and hoop earrings onto fabric and breaking out the BeDazzler kit.
#Treatyourself this holiday season with something from The Betches Sweater Collection instead of one of these crimes against fashion.