This week the betchiest of taxi services teamed up with Spotify so blacked out girls everywhere can annoy their drivers even more by pretending to be a DJ. Right now it’s only available in the 3 U.S. cities that matter: San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York but will soon be available in the random povo ones too. Honestly the idea is pretty genius. Before, the only thing worse than waiting five excruciating minutes for your pedophile-looking driver is enduring a ten-minute drive across town in the awkward silence or small talk that ensues. Like sorry but I really don’t care to hear about how long you’ve been driving for, no you cannot “add me on Tinder” (that’s not even possible), and yeah my day was fan-fucking-tastic thanks for asking. Please let me go back to staring at my phone now.
At least now we have a legit excuse for our blatant standoffishness: we’re DJs, duh. If you download Spotify Premium you can play whatever music you want and change it as many times you’d like during your lift. We all know a betch’s music ADD is one of her most prevalent symptoms of having ADD. To celebrate the launch of the new relationship, other “DJs” like our favorite shady bro Diplo were Uber drivers for the day and picked up unsuspecting passengers. We can only imagine stumbling out of your pregame on the way to the club and having fucking Diplo pick your drunk ass up.