In the likely event your internet hasn’t been out for the past weeks, you’re at least vaguely aware of the #YesAllWomen movement (can I say “movement,” or is it just a hashtag?) that’s going on.
But ICYMI (and because I’m feeling nice today), here’s a brief, brief rundown. In light of recent horrific events in Santa Barbara, which were at least partly motivated by the shooter’s apparent hatred towards women (he literally wrote in his manifesto that he suffered through life “all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing the value in me.”) Talk about putting the pussy on a pedestal, damn. Needless to say, people (yes, a lot of women) were outraged, and started the hashtag #YesAllWomen to point out commonplace acts of violence, aggression, and just overall hatred against women.
Like for instance, guys, how many times have you walked by a bus stop and been asked, “Hey! HEY! Are you single? ARE YOU SINGLE?!” as if fast-forward 10 years from now you’re going to be saying to your kids, “Well kids, your mom and I met because I was walking by the bus stop, minding my own business, and…well, it was just love at first holla.” Oh, never? That’s never happened to you? That literally happened to me three days ago. See? See the value in this? We’re all learning here.
Ehhh, not so right. You’re forgetting we live in a world where you can’t start a hashtag without a ton of people getting personally offended, like your Twitter post is directed at them specifically. Take, for example, #WhitePeopleEquivalents. I’m not going to take the time to explain that to you, but they have this great thing called the Google so you can look it up.
A lot of guys took to Twitter to defend themselves because they felt personally victimized by Regina George and #YesAllWomen. So I present to you, the Top 6 Arguments Against #YesAllWomen (And Misogyny in General) And Why They’re Bullshit.
1. “Not all men are like this” aka #NotAllMen
Yes, we know. We know not all men are like this, and no one is saying they are. Last time I checked (which was literally 12 seconds ago), the hashtag was called #YesAllWomen [have experienced some type of aggression], not #YesAllMen [are terrible rapist-murderers]. Why are some men taking this hashtag so personally? Yeah maybe you’ve never cat-called a woman (or done something way worse)—a majority of you haven’t, and that’s a good thing!—but that still doesn’t change the fact that somebody, at some point, did. Some asshole ruined it for you, but maybe take it up with him instead of getting mad at the ladies for pointing out the facts. Sorry Shaggy, but the “it wasn’t me” excuse isn’t helping anyone here.
2. “At least women can walk down the street at night and no one will cross to the other side because they’re afraid of you solely because you’re a man.”
Oh, I’m sorry that your feelings potentially being hurt that someone would have the audacity to cross the street is a bigger issue than my personal safety. Again, it’s not a personal thing and you’re probably a very nice guy who treats his mother very well but as a stranger, I have literally zero way of knowing that whatsoever. So again sorry that we can’t be sidewalk buddies and that you’re mad bro, but here’s my personal motto: better safe than sorry, and better paranoid than dead.
3. “Yeah, but men get raped/are the victims of violence/ deal with shitty things too.”
That’s totally right, which is why the hashtag is #YesAllWomen, as opposed to #YesAllWomenAndNotAnyManEverInHistory. No one’s saying things that happen to women never happen to men, just that THEY HAPPEN TO WOMEN. Just because you admit that women are abused doesn’t make all the men who’ve been abused just magically go away. Like why can’t we acknowledge that it happens to women? Can we take this one step at a time? Why is this turning into this thing we have to constantly one-up each other on? People are reading so far into this that they can’t see the point, which is literally expressed in three words: Yes. All. Women. All the over-analyzing is making my head spin tbh. I’m not trying to trivialize any violence against men but straight up, that’s not the focus of this hashtag atm. Definitely, we should bring issues men face to light. But maybe not in this specific hashtag. But by all means, start your own! It’s a free internet!
4. “Yeah but women are well-represented on TV, unlike men, where we’re all portrayed as bumbling idiots who can’t do anything right.”
This statement is totally true, if you literally only watch cartoons that air on Fox and Kevin James comedies. Just because Peter Griffin, Stan Smith, and Homer Simpson are less-than-perfect, do you really think it’s fair to say that ALL men are poorly represented in the media and ALL women are portrayed in a positive light? Nice fucking try. Any further questions can kindly be directed to Meg Griffin, literally every character on Girls, and Monica Lewinsky.
5. “Well, men are told to ‘man up’ all the time and we’re not allowed to be vulnerable or else we get called pussies.”
And women are told to “just get over it” all the time and we’re not allowed to show emotion or else we get called crazy, psycho bitches. Gender stereotypes suck on both ends! At least there’s equality in that, right?
6. “At least women can have drunk sex with someone without being automatically sent to jail for rape.”
Okay, what fucking world do you live in? Have you ever turned on the news, or even an episode of SVU? If you did, you’d know that a majority of rapes don’t get reported in the first place and even for the ones that do, a rapist does not get convicted 100% of the time, not even close (because someone in the comments section is going to ask, source). I honestly don’t know what fantasy world you’re living in when you think you can have tipsy consensual sex with a girl and the next day she’ll just “decide”—prob because she was PMS-ing or something, women, amirite fellas?!—to accuse you of rape, and then BOOM your life is over, welcome to County. C’mon, I know it hasn’t been that long since Steubenville, surely you haven’t forgotten how a lot of these scenarios go down?!
In short, sexism is definitely a real thing that happens, whether you want to admit it or not. For instance, I was inadvertently sexist yesterday when I needed to borrow a drill (and before you ask, no, it was not for a sex thing) and it was only before I asked all my guy friends if they had one before I turned to a female friend (she had a drill btw—girl power ftw).
Yes it’s uncomfortable confronting your privilege—that’s honestly the point; no one ever got anywhere by being complacent. So keep that in mind when you log on Twitter in about 35 seconds and notice that #YesAllWhiteWomen is trending.