You might think it’s a good time being Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady, but you could be wrong. Sure they’re the most gorgeous couple in the world (Sorry David and Victoria Beckham), make millions, and live in an actual castle in Massachusetts, but their diets are a certified form of torture. Somebody call the United Nations because this diet is a human rights abuse.
It starts off okay: 80% is vegetables and 20% is lean meat like steak, duck, chicken, and salmon. I can fucks with a salad and side of meat for dinner every night. But Tom doesn’t eat tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, or eggplants because “they cause inflammation.” I don’t even know what that means, but what vegetables are left? Kale and carrots?
Then it gets serious: No white sugar, white flour, olive oil, or iodized salt. So basically raw vegetables with no seasoning or even the chance of being sautéed. Their chef only cooks with coconut oil and Himalayan pink salt, which is funny because I’d need to be high on bath salts to live like this.
Finally, this diet gets fucking tyrannical: No coffee, caffeine, or dairy. What would a betch do without an iced coffee with room for soy milk and a Red Bull to get her through a Friday? I guess the couple that starves themselves together, stays together.