The One Where The Government Shut Down (But Then Came Back Again)

The Government Is Back 

Originally published in The Betches Sup Newsletter on 1/23/2018

 

“Omfg it’s already over?” – me with my Hinge hookup last weekend The American people after the government shutdown.

After talking a big game all night at the bar on the floor of the Senate, Democrats ultimately lacked the stamina to maintain their government shutdown, and caved after just 48 hours. In exchange for their votes, Democrats got a promise from Mitch McConnell that he’ll toooootally call them again have a vote on DACA soon. Totally. Def. The government is now funded through February 8th, at which point America will be in the exact same position we’re in now – on our backs, bored as fuck, just kind of like waiting for Congress to finish.

Moderate Dems Say: This move was actually good because nobody wants a prolonged government shutdown and now that we’ve voted on CHIP, the Republicans no longer have that as a tool to play during the next shutdown fight later this month. Also McConnell’s promise was so public and obvious that he has to stick to it…right? RIGHT?

Lefty Dems Say: The Democrats caved wayyyyyy too early on DACA which will depress the base for 2018 and leaves 800,000 Dreamers vulnerable. Plus trusting Mitch “I Literally Stole A Supreme Court Seat From A Sitting President” McConnell is like trusting your ex who cheated on you a bunch not to cheat on you again when you get back together.

The Sup Says: I haven’t been this embarrassed and disappointed watching something since the premiere of Life Of KylieRead more.

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