The Betches’ Survival Guide For The Meadows

It’s officially fall now, and that sucks, so what better way to continue to deny the impending arrival of winter than to head to an outdoor music festival? That was a rhetorical question, there is no better way. Thankfully we’ve got one last festival on our radar before festival season comes to a close and we all shut ourselves in our apartments for the winter: The Meadows Music & Arts Festival, happening next weekend in Queens.

For those of you who attended Gov Ball, The Meadows is run by the same people so you know it’s going to be good. And if you’re one of the Pablo stans who cried themselves to sleep because Kanye got rained out at Gov Ball this year, you’re in luck because he’s one of the headliners, along with J. Cole, Kygo, Pretty Lights, and my future husband, Chance The Rapper.

This will not be one of those “here’s why you should attend The Meadows”-type posts because honestly, I don’t care what you do with your life, and if the above headliners didn’t convince you to buy a ticket already, IDK what to tell you. Don’t get me wrong, you will def be missing out on a great time if you don’t go—but like, it’s not my problem that you make poor life decisions.

What this post IS is a Meadows survival guide. This is its first year so we’re all going in a little bit blind, but I’m confident that with the obscene amount of festivals I have under my belt, I can provide a little bit of guidance on things you absolutely need to have going in.

1. Tissues


Not because your nose will be running, but because anytime you get together thousands of people + portapotties, you’re bound to run out of toilet paper in like, 2 hours. Also because you might cry because the music’s so good—I’m already planning for this tbh. I totally understand not wanting to be that girl toting around an entire roll of toilet paper, so keep a few packs of those little tissue packets instead. In a similar vein, bring hand sanitizer. I have never once been wrong about this.

2. Coloring Book

Coloring Book

I don’t mean to bring an actual coloring book. I’m saying that if you haven’t listened to Chance’s album Coloring Book, you are really fucking up. And I’m not just saying that because I’m in love with him—okay, maybe I am. But seriously, I think it’ll be one of the best performances of the entire festival and given the sheer amount of guest verses on the album—everyone from Future to Justin Bieber to Lil Wayne and Ye himself and back again—I would honestly be shocked if there weren’t any surprise appearances during his set. 

3. Comfortable shoes

falling in heels

Yeah yeah, I know inappropriate footwear is an item on the Betch List, but don’t be that idiot who tries to wear wedges to a fucking festival. You will hate yourself and no one will feel sorry for you. Kanye had enough models falling on his runway—he doesn’t need any more betches tumbling over at his live show.

4. Gum/Cigarettes/Temporary tattoos

do you have gum

All are highly coveted items; all can be used as excellent bartering tools/in exchange for immediate friendship.

5. Cash

Kim Kardashian cash

Great news! As far as I can tell, The Meadows isn’t one of those festivals that tries to scam you out of all your money with those bullshit cashless “festival bucks” systems. Why should you care about buying shit? Because you’ll want to buy food and drinks—there will be a curated selection of food vendors and craft cocktails that you won’t want to miss out on. Gov Ball’s food lineup was hailed by Food & Wine magazine and GQ, among others, so you can expect the same level of greatness from The Meadows.

Now that you have all the necessities, make sure you have the #1 necessity: your ticket, duh. Buy it here, and we’ll see you next weekend. 

P.S. Chance call me


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