I’m sure by now we all heard about Kim Kardashian getting robbed at gunpoint in Paris, and Kanye’s subsequent bailing on the last few minutes of his set at The Meadows. But we’re not here to talk about that—at least, not yet. This betch was actually at The Meadows when Kanye up and bounced (new claim to fame), but before that shit show, there was a whole lot of other shit going on. I’m just gonna go down the list of what I liked, what I didn’t like, and what I didn’t really feel any type of way about. Does anybody actually care what I think? TBD. Here we go.
The location was… eh. Like, on the one hand it was amazing because it was very convenient for me personally to get to. On the other hand, it was in the parking lot of Citi Field so it was not exactly the most picturesque place to be. I will say that they did a good job of setting up the stages so that there wasn’t a whole lot of noise pollution between stages.
So I didn’t eat all festival except for the free Kettle chips and Kind bars provided in the media tent (#festivaldiet), so I can’t really comment on the food. I did see one girl eating spaghetti out of a cone though, which was a first. But I did have some drinks because, again, festival diet. We checked out the Pepsi 1893 lounge, and don’t kill me for this, but it was actually really good. Basically this shit is just slightly fancy Pepsi, made with kola nut extract, sparkling water and real sugar (the horror), but in addition to coming in regular Pepsi flavor they also make a ginger one—perfect for mixing with the liquor of your choice. I had a cocktail made with 1893 Ginger, bourbon and muddled mint, and it was amaze. Don’t tell Diet Coke but I might actually buy this shit in the future.
Also shouts out to the pink drank in the freeloaders lounge—not sure what was in it, but it was good.
Teenagers. Teenagers everywhere. If I had taken a shot every time I asked myself, “Am I getting too old for this?” I’d have ended up in the medical tent. Actual footage of me at all times:
OK, here we fucking go. There was a lot happening with the music, as I’m sure we all know. So I’m going to run down the list in no real particular order.
The Weeknd: That SAB who says he wants to be exclusive and then changes his mind but continues to fuck you anyway. He was one of the headliners, then he cancelled for SNL, then he was added back in, then dropped out the morning of his headlining slot. Not impressed, and I’m boycotting that SNL episode on principle.
J. Cole: Filled in for The Weeknd and did a great job. Also apparently that was his last performance for a while, insert joke here about going platinum with no features.
Pretty Lights: Turnt—both the set and me at that point tbh so hard to put forth a coherent opinion about it.
Zella Day: The person I now aspire to be even though I have no musical talent whatsoever—interview coming soon.
Bryson Tiller: Relationship status: It’s complicated. I fucking love Bryson Tiller more than I will love my own future husband, but I was low-key a little underwhelmed by his set. Sure, I nearly cried when he performed “Let ‘Em Know,” but I feel like he didn’t really actually sing that much. I wanted to be moved to tears by his crooning, but it didn’t really happen. Bryson, if you’re reading this bae, I still love you and I’m not mad—just disappointed.
Chance The Rapper: The light of my life and the reason I continue living. Chance was hands-down the best performance of the festival. He was one of the few big artists who really put on a cohesive show—complete with costume changes, funny interludes between songs, and a guy in a giant lion costume who went by Carlos and said “big fella” every other word. If Carlos comes in stuffed animal version, I’m buying one. As with Bonnaroo, Chance continues to be the real MVP of festivals.
Kygo: Incredible. Everyone who missed out on Kygo’s performance to stan for Kanye played themselves big time. His set was so fun and he brought out Shaggy—yes, that’s right. Shaggy of “It Wasn’t Me” fame. My legs are still killing me from all the jumping. RIP.
Grimes: The music is not 100% my thing, but I became a believer by the end of the set. She is adorable regardless.
The Kanye Fiasco
Yes, Kanye is getting his own section. So apparently Kanye showed up half an hour late to his own set and people were pissed about it, but honestly, you have to know that’s what you’re signing up for when you see Kanye live. I literally had a conversation with the woman at the 1893 lounge the day before about how there was no way Kanye was going to show up to his set on time. So that shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone. Man does what he wants.
Kanye was good before he up and left in the middle of a song—he performed some of his old hits and some newer ones, and everyone was hyped. Can’t really complain. When he just randomly left, nobody took it seriously at first and we were all like, “LOL Kanye. Good one. Now come on back.” And then once we realized he was actually gone, everyone got pissed. In reality, it seemed like a huge deal but he left with maybe 10-20 minutes left in his set? And given that his wife was apparently robbed, it seems understandable. Like, can you imagine how much of an asshole he would have looked like if he was like, “Kim I love you and I’mma let you finish getting robbed at gunpoint, but I’m about to have one of the greatest sets at The Meadows of all time”?
Overall, this is the second time these festival organizers have tried to get a full set out of Kanye West and failed: first at Governors Ball when day 2 got rained out, and now at The Meadows. It’s time we all learned our lesson and stopped trying to book Kanye at festivals. Like, I’m not saying Kanye is a jinx, but I’m also not not saying that.
Parting Thoughts/Miscellaneous Complaints
I’m honestly good because for the most part, the people I wanted to see pulled through, and the lineup was stacked. I had a great time. Would probably go again, even if it means missing Rosh Hashanah (sorry mom and dad). #NoRagrets.