WTF To Do With Your Hair and Makeup On Thanksgiving

Even though you’ll mostly be hanging out with your dumb family, you never know who’s going to show up to Thanksgiving dinner. As in, will your third cousin (only related by marriage so it’s not weird, duh!) make an appearance and casually eye fuck you while he asks if you want any mashed potatoes before you politely/aggressively decline? If the last 10 years are any indication, then probably. 

On top of that, there will be so many opportunities for you to take photos of yourself in front of meat, so you can instagram it later and be like “look at all the dead animal I didn’t consume, you fucking slobs lol Happy Thanksgiving, I guess.” Obviously you need to be pretty for that.

Basically what I’m saying is, I know Thanksgiving is a day to be lazy and eat (though I never understood that second part), but it doesn’t mean you have to look like shit. Here’s WTF to do with your hair and makeup if you’re unsure.

Hair:  You basically have three options.

Option 1: Straight and sleek. Because it’s timeless/classic.

Option 2: A chignon of sorts.

Because it shows that you didn’t try too hard, but that you’ve grown up now, and you’re only here because you have to be. Otherwise, you would be in a meeting somewhere or a fashion show.


Option 3: A braid. To celebrate the Native Americans (RIP), obviously. 

Eyes: You basically have two options.

Option 1: Cat Eye

For a few reasons. First, Adele is huge (again) right now. And secondly, a well executed cat eye can you make you look like you’re scowling even if you’re not. It’s very “don’t ask me if I want pie” as far as vibes go. 

Option 2: Smokey Eye

You can actually, literally, never go wrong with a smokey eye. To switch it up for this festive occasion, swap out black shades for dark brown shades and incorporate a rich, red hue like MAC’s Brown Script into your crease. 


Lips: You basically have one option.

Option 1: A bold, autumnal lipstick.

Because then you’ll have another excuse to not eat (besides the obvious excuse: that you’re a “gluten-free, paleo vegan, whose allergic to nuts, legumes, and tryptophan.”) The best ones on the market right now are as follows:

Lancôme L’Absolu Rouge Definition in Le Pourpre, Nars Audacious Lipstick in Ingrid, or Bobbi Brown Luxe Lip Color in Plum Brandy. Or whatever you have that’s dark, mysterious, and chic AF. 


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