A couple years ago, The Real Housewives got a little too fucking real for Teresa Giudice, who got sentenced to prison because she did a bunch of shit with money and taxes that you’re not supposed to do and that’s exactly why my dad does this shit for me. Anyway, like all ex-con celebs, she wrote a memoir about life in the slammer. Isn’t that what Orange Is the New Black is for, though?
Well if you ask Teresa, she’s the inspiration for OITNB’s newest inmate, Judy King, a celebrity homemaker that gets locked up and has the entire prison freaking the fuck out. I guess it’s not totally farfetched since Teresa wrote a cookbook and her inmate friends call her Hollywood, which I don’t totally believe since she’s just on reality TV and lives in Jersey. Maybe Snooki would be better? But either way, isn’t there someone else that comes to mind when you think of a famous person who cooks, cleans, decorates and just does life better than everyone else and happened to go to jail?
Ya know, like Martha Stewart????
I mean, how into yourself can you be to think you’re a bigger deal and more domestic than Martha fucking Stewart? But it doesn’t matter because the HBIC of OITNB came out and said she based the character on Martha, so that’s the end of that. Sorry Tre… You’re still just the housewife from Jersey that flipped a table and then went to jail.