These Temporary Tattoos Measure How Fucked Up You Are

Getting drunk is fucking amazing. You feel really hot and you forget all the shitty things that happened at work and it’s just in general way more fun than being sober. But shit sucks when you take it too far. You feel like literal death the next day and you have to like, apologize (gross) for all batshit crazy things you did. And god forbid you fuck up your Uber score. That shit follows you. Well now there’s this temporary tattoo that tells you how much you’ve actually had to drink so you can keep shit under control. So it’s pretty much like a boring responsible friend you can wear.

Taylor Swift Loser

I have so many questions about this. Does it like, speak to you? How much is too much in the eyes of this little contraption? Does it come in a flash tat version?

Apparently it measures your alcohol levels through your sweat and then sends data and shit through your phone via bluetooth. Goddamn that seems complicated… Am I supposed to figure all that out while I’m wasted? Because that will definitely not happen. I can hardly fucking walk when I drink too much, let alone figure out the world’s most complicated device.

Why does everything have to be so complicated

I’d give it a shot though. God knows if anyone needs it, it’s my drunk ass.


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