Say Goodbye To Your Lunch: A Teacher Was Impregnated By Her 13-Year-Old Student

Let’s just say 2016 was the year the world ended and call it a day, okay? So many unbelievably stupid things have already happened and it’s only June. There’re still six months left for everyone in the world to keep fucking up. Well, after this latest scandal, I’m fucking done. Like, done. D-O-N-E. Apparently a teacher down in Houston, Texas not only let her 13-year-old student fuck her, but she was also dumb enough to be impregnated by him. He’s still being described as a boy by media outlets—and, like, the English-speaking population in general—and this bitch thought it was a great idea to have sex with him? What ever happened to girls maturing faster than boys? I know Selena Gomez took a long time to eventually learn that lesson about Justin Bieber, but hey, betch eventually got there.

According to CBS News, “An arrest warrant had been issued for 24-year-old Alexandria Vera, who was an English teacher in the Aldine School District. The boy was an 8th-grade student she met last summer. … Court documents allege she was introduced to his family as the boy’s girlfriend, and the woman said that his parents supported the relationship and invited her to family gatherings. She reportedly said she told a school district investigator the family was ‘very supportive and excited’ when she disclosed her pregnancy. She allegedly said she and the boy ‘love each other.’”

So, this woman means to tell me that this kid’s parents knew they were having sex AND that she was pregnant and they were just, like, cool with it? I’m finding that hard to believe. There’s no way any child’s parents are chill enough to be like “Oh. You’re having sex with your teacher? The woman who’s is supposed to educating and somewhat protecting you from 8am to 3pm 5 days a week? And she’s pregnant with your kid? Mazel tov!”

Considering the creepily obvious reasons that this will never work out and the fact that she’s going to jail, Vera’s thankfully aborted the pregnancy. No need to ruin some unborn child’s life because she’s a fuck up—besides the fact that at 21 I’m still actively trying to prevent children, 13 might be a bit young to be a dad, but I don’t know your life.


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