I Actually Agree With Taylor Swift On Something

Since yesterday, the internet has been pouring over Diet Coke spokesperson and occasional musician Taylor Swift’s 73-question interview with Vogue, and rightly so—Taylor Swift is a national treasure, and we should all be honored to have a peek into her glamorous, tchotchke-filled life. But most importantly, we learn that Taylor Swift’s favorite “cocktail” is a “vodka diet coke.”

Taylor Swift is correct.

Over at Deadspin, now one of my favorite web logs, writer Puja Patel takes the bold and dumb stance that not only is a vodka diet not technically a cocktail, but that “no one” orders a vodka diet:

“But no one voluntarily drinks a vodka Diet Coke, or orders one at at a bar. No one who has the choice to drink what they want to, at least.”

This is wrong! Wrong and bad! From where does she get this so-called “evidence” that no one drinks this delightful drink? The worst possible source: a bartender in Brooklyn.

“I also asked a Brooklyn-based bartender if anyone has ever ordered a ‘vodka Diet Coke’ cocktail from him in his many years of bartending. His reply: ‘Never. Not once. Because it’s not a cocktail.'”

First of all, fuck some smug, mustachioed “mixologist” and his pedantic mincing over what is and what isn’t a cocktail. Yes, a “proper” [wanking motion] cocktail has three ingredients. A vodka diet may only start with two, but when I squeeze the juice from my little lime wedge in there, it becomes a trio. Argument defeated; Brooklyn is still dreck.

But more importantly, who’s to say “no one” orders a vodka diet? I order them all the fucking time. They have caffeine in them, but not as much as Red Bull, and only 69 (heh) calories. It may SOUND weird, but people put rum in diet cola all the time, and people put vodka in plain soda water all the time. Tell me, if you can stomach drinking plain vodka and plain soda water, does it not seem plausible that swapping the seltzer for diet coke would be superior in every conceivable way?

It would be, and it is. Everyone should drink more vodka diets, just like how everyone should be more like Tswift.


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