8 Tips To Look Skinny In Time For Halloween

It’s October, meaning that after a month of getting into your winter bod, it is now time to put on the sluttiest fucking thing you’ve ever seen in your life your Halloween costume and parade your two-months-into-seasonal-depression look for the general public. Unfortunate. But until we can get a law passed that officially moves Halloween … Continued

How To Fake Great Legs For Summer

Summer is literally right around the corner and I am PISSED that no one notified me about this. Like, I just hung up my puffy coat two months weeks ago and you suddenly expect me to shed my dry AF winter skin and wine- and cheese-induced body already?? I am not Khloé Kardashian, I can’t … Continued

How To Fake The Perfect Post-Spring Break Tan

Remember when March used to mean Spring Break aka when March used to mean a week you will actually never remember because you spent seven days blacking out on the beaches of Cabo and starting so much drama it made this season’s Bachelor beach volleyball game look like a huge success? Ah, take me back. … Continued