10 Random Things You Forgot Paris Hilton Did

As someone who grew up in the 2000s at the height of celebrity socialite culture, Paris Hilton is basically my Jesus. I don’t go to church, but if Paris Hilton started a cult, I know I’d probably drink the Kool-Aid. If Scott Disick is the Lord, then Paris is the Virgin Mary. Or something. Do … Continued

Happy Birthday Month, Aries!

Hear ye, hear ye, it’s time to get shitfaced celebrate because it’s Aries’ birthday month. Break out your pink plastic tiaras because these betches know how to keep it real, and this month it’s all about them. These ladies are relaxed enough to wear sweats beyond just Netflix and chilling, yet they still manage to … Continued

Here’s Why You Suck At Getting Gifts

If it were up to us, we’d never have to ever buy a gift for anyone ever again. It’s not that we aren’t generous people, because duh we love philanthropy, it’s just that when it comes to getting someone a gift, there’s a lot of pressure. Gifts are usually as useful as trash bags made … Continued

Suri Cruise Is 10, Which Means You’re Old

Think back to ten years ago: your phone wasn’t smart yet, some of you were still in elementary school, and you probably had at least three pairs of Ugg boots. Elsewhere in America, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were busy being the couple of the century. He had lured her into Scientology, and all seemed … Continued

The Betches’ Guide To Happy Birthday Posts

Besides sending Baked by Melissa, Momofuku, or an Insomnia cookie cake, every betch knows the essential way to wish your bestie a happy birthday is to write the perfect post on her wall. Even if you just spent the entire day talking shit about her for inviting your ex-boyfriend to her birthday pregame, today she … Continued