The Betches’ Guide To Surviving College Graduation

Well, my fellow college-aged betches, it’s that time of year once again: graduation. Personally, I’m pretty done with the whole academic thing and am certainly ready to move onto the next phase of my life, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss having minimal responsibility and sleeping until 2pm every day. In the real world if you black out every time you drink, people think you have a problem as opposed to just thinking, “Wow, that girl’s really fun.”

Put your looming adulthood at the back of your mind and fear not, I’m here to give you some tips on how to make the most of these last few days.

1. Get your finals shit done as soon as possible

Whether it’s a project or paper, get it done as soon as you can. You have to stay at school until graduation finally approaches, do you want to be doing work that entire time? Of course not. You want to be blacking out with your friends and acquaintances alike, and that hangover will be even less enjoyable when you wake up remembering that you have a 20-page paper due in 4 hours.

2. Pack up the shit you don’t need anymore

Your parents are obviously on their way to watch their darling spawn hit a major milestone, and when they inevitably enter your lair the last thing you want them to comment on is how messy it is or how annoyed they are that you waited until the last minute to pack. Don’t let their disappointment in you and your organizational skills hinder any extra graduation presents and pack up your shit early. Your room will be clean and your ‘rents will be so thrilled you took some initiative that they may even swing for the Cartier bracelet you’ve been subtly hinting you want basically pleading for every single day since you saw some girl in SDT wearing it.

3. Decorate your graduation cap

During the day when there’s really no one around and your head feels like it might fall off from the shots you were guzzling at the bar last night, there’s really nothing more relaxing than calling over one or two of your favorite people and decorating your caps together. This might feel sort of lame but trust me, it’s something you’ll want later in life and it’ll look super good on Instagram when you put it in a #TBT in 2 months. “Remember when I graduated college?! #Blessed”

So, as your finals end and the campus empties of everyone but the graduating class, try your hardest not to remember any of the time that you spent at University that wasn’t immortalized in a photo. When you’re sitting at a cubicle in 6 months because your dad had to get you a job at his company, you’ll definitely miss the days that you spent at your sorority events and walk of shaming from that frat house that’s too far from your apartment. Congratulations to the Class of 2016! As Elle Woods would say, “We did it!”


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